Getting married for Happiness or Green Card?
Jun 23, 2009 02:19
  • LEONARDO
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An recently-released article from North America Weekly Times talks about the issue of “fake marriage and fake divorce” between native Americans and immigrants (particularly Chinese immigrants). The article was written in Chinese. The literal translation of the title is “ when marriage becomes a sheer bargain”. The article states that marriage is no more as pure and holy as before;and marriage has become a practical survival tool. In particular, international marriage been viewed as a sheer tool for getting green card, migrating to the North America and making a living(making money). In one word, marriage has become a sheer bargain. This phenomenon was catching on among the North American immgrants (mainly at the lower class of the society)in 1980s, and culminated in the Mid-1990s.

This phenomenon is typical among native North American men and Asian women. “Getting a green card through marriage” seems to an effortless way to achieve the dream of “making a better life”, hence “fake marriage” . After getting married and clearing the immigration procedure, there are “true and fake divorce”. In the recent years, it has been a headache for the North American immigration officers to distinguish if it is true or fake when it comes to the marriage immigration application. Well, the local immigration lawyers have been pleased to “the fake marriage and divorce” since there have been increasing cases of immigration appeals. What makes it sad most is that the increasing fake marriage makes cross-cultural couples who marry out of the true love bear the cost of tightened immigration regulation: they are required to provide more documents and go through more tiresome procedure.

More than worse, an underground market seems to be emerging: “fake brides” and ‘fake grooms” is appearing as a new profession. A question is worth pondering: is it worthwhile getting married just for a Green Card or Dollars? I have always been thinking that marriage should be a serious step for men and women who are responsible, loving, caring and well-behaved. Marriage should be based on genuine love and mutual affection instead of green card and dollars. In a fiercely-competitive world, making a living is quite painstaking. Does it mean that marriage just become a survival tool? Do you think if there are any international marriages based on genuine love? Will you get married just for the sake of green card?
Jun 23, 2009 22:18
#1  
GUESTNEWBIE I have seen so many oddly-look couples on the Chinese streets: western old men & young chinese girls. Many of the Chinese girls deliberately and desperately seek for old western men. After they got the green cards, they divorced the old guys and dated a younger western bloke. Several Chinese friends talked me about the issue why Chinese girls love to marrdy old western men. They shared some common thoughts:

(1) a lot of Chinese girls want exit from China because the life in China is too competitive in view of China's huge population. They could foresee a good future of their own lives in China

(2)Seek financial stability. In a materialized world, not only Chinese girls but girls from other countries realize that "bread" is more important than "love". Stomach can't be filled with love. It is easy for women to let love give way to bread.

(3.) They think Lowai's((foreigners') lifestyle (culture) is cool. This is somewhat unrealistic and only some girls' fantasy about the West.

(4) They want to be seen as "different" and "unordinary". Though foreigners are not as rare in China, marrying a foreigner is still seen as an honour in many Chinese girls' eyes.



Jun 24, 2009 04:29
#2  
  • SUPERGIRL
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Sure, marry to Green Card, then in turn Green card bring hapiness! I just love this motion picture; Green Card.

Jun 28, 2009 04:58
#3  
GUEST21131 The reason why the materialistic Chinese girls prefer marrying western guys is the common misconception that a guy from a western country is "rich".
Jul 3, 2009 22:14
#4  
  • GRIZ326
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Any man contemplating marriage to a Chinese woman must consider the woman's motives:

Does she think I'm rich?
Does she want a green card?
Does she want her children educated in American universities?
Does she believe life in the US/western country will be better than in China? (It is only different, not necessarily better.)
Does she believe the streets of America are paved with gold?
Does she think American/western men are different than Chinese men and that she will be more appreciated?

Chances are that one or many of those motives are part of why a Chinese woman marries a western man.

I am certain that one of my wife's motivations was to get an American education for her daughter. She also seems to believe that western men treat women better than Chinese men. But I believe the reason my lovely wife married this old fat man is that she believes she and her daughter can have a better life; that is the only sound reason for any man or woman to get married.

My only other thought is that when a man my age, 58, marries any gal in her 20s, 30s or early 40s he is asking for trouble. My wife is 10 years younger than me which I hope aligns our dreams and aspirations much closer.
Jul 4, 2009 22:59
#5  
  • KATRINA
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUESTNEWBIE View Post

Several Chinese friends talked me about the issue why Chinese girls love to marrdy old western men. They shared some common thoughts:

(1) a lot of Chinese girls want exit from China because the life in China is too competitive in view of China's huge population. They could foresee a good future of their own lives in China

(2)Se...


I show my understanding for Chinese girls with the first two reasons for marry foreigners. The reasons(3) (4) sound ridiculous .
Jul 5, 2009 22:56
#6  
  • SUNNYDREAM
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GRIZ326 View Post

Any man contemplating marriage to a Chinese woman must consider the woman's motives: .....
I am certain that one of my wife's motivations was to get an American education for her daughter. She also seems to believe that western men treat women better than Chinese men. But I believe the reason my lovely wife married this old fat man is that sh...


Men and Women all have motives when contemplating marriage, aren't we (or they)? Most men are want to in possession of the women who are attracted to them. Women are certainly concerned about if he men they loved can make them feel safe both financially and psychologically. Love is important, so is bread. Griz326, when Chinese women come to the middle age, few of them still have the love fantasy. They are more realistic and are very suitable to be good wives. A neighbour middle-aged woman confessed it to my grandma.
Jul 7, 2009 02:14
#7  
  • ALLYHOUSE
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Forgive my english is not good:


No matter who you are ,no matter where you come from,we all need love.The western guy absolutely could find one good Chinese girl here if he really also is genuine one.

We are all adults ,who you could blame? We are not stupid,Chinese girls are not stupid,so are western guys!!!!

If Chinese girls have so many desires,How about the western guys? are they really that pure and simple and friendly?

Is it ashamed of "western OLD men & YOUNG chinese girls" if you see them on the street? Why people could not tolerate? Why people have assumption on them? They do not hurt you,they do not block your way,they do not kill this world ,they have their life and they have their way their future..... If you think they are wrong,that is your problem,is your discrimination and judgement.

why some people would love to talk about their private life?Is it making you seems BIGGER than others,that seems you are so greater than others????then could get the satisfaction and superiority from them???????

Jul 12, 2009 04:50
#8  
GUESTYOYO Western men are no better than Chinese men in the aspects of intelligence, physical attrativeness, etc. What makes western men more attractive than their Chinese counterparts is the financial standing and the opportunity to live in a developed country they can offer to Chinese women.
Jul 16, 2009 01:54
#9  
GUEST44191 "Western men are no better than Chinese men in the aspects of intelligence, physical attrativeness, etc. What makes western men more attractive than their Chinese counterparts is the financial standing and the opportunity to live in a developed country they can offer to Chinese women. "
That's bull shit! Lots of chinese men are rich.And there are lots of poor westerners, and westerner cheaters.
Aug 4, 2009 07:42
#10  
GUEST06153 In Ireland last year the GNIB was going to close the door to all marriages between Indian, Pakistan people with Eastern Europeans due to the 'Fake marriage for Living in Ireland', but finally ended with nothing. its against the human rights so they couldnt do anything although they think its 'unacceptable'.
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