Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.
Oct 26, 2012 22:59
  • RAINDROP
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Recently, a blogger named “North America Brother Cui” post an article about 6 consequences of a foreigner will have if he marries a Chinese woman because of big culture difference. Here following are these 6 consequences:

No.1. Once you married to a Chinese, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family. In less than half a year, his wife’s parents, sisters with kids came to his home. In his words, his home was occupied by Chinese.

No.2. Once you live with Chinese, you do not have privacy any more. Chinese are hospitable; there should be no distance between on another if being together. He said that once his father-in-law pushed the door and walked in to the toilet when he was sitting on the toilet seat.

No.3. He is not allowed to tough anywhere at home. His wife wraps the furniture and rug with plastic in order to keep them clean without dust. The perfectly layout of all furniture is all for look only.

No.4. Chinese love meat, he likes to eat whatever dishes his wife made, but better without knowing what they are.

No.5. Never quarrel with your Chinese wife. If you do, it is not a small deal. Your lady will bring up things back to long time ago. The word “sorry” will not work on this. You have to give her a reason which is acceptable. In his opinion, Chinese wives were born with a mission to transform men and control them in everything. He declared that the reason why China can not produce a explorer like Columbus is Chinese wife will start inquiring before he sail, such as “where? with whom? Is there any woman on the ship? How old is she? Is she married? And how is she look?” Then, the man will give it up.

No.6. They will drive your kids to death. Chinese family gives too much pressure to their child. To force them to learn piano, ballet, English, drawing at a very young age. Chinese will always have a goal in their life. To buy a house, change it to a bigger one, send kids to school, then to a doctoral degree, at last to a big company. They make life so hard for themselves.

What do you think?

Last edited by RAINDROP: Oct 26, 2012 23:08
Oct 27, 2012 04:39
#1  
  • GLOOMYSU...
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This is histrionic, but true in some aspects. I think there must be things Chinese have to bear too if she gets married to a foreign husband, right? culture difference is everywhere in life.
Oct 28, 2012 02:02
#2  
  • JIMMYB
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Raindrop,

North America Brother Cui must be a Chinese who fictioned this popular article. I read it too. It is written in Chinese and someone translated into English.

In this forum, there are some members who just married Chinese girls. I didn't hear any complaints from them.

Anyway, this article can be a guide to any foreigner who plans to get married with a Chinese girl. Before getting married with your Chinese lover, please read this article and see if you are still going to marry her.
Nov 2, 2012 19:56
#3  
GUEST17115 This article was probably written by someone who might consider his marriage to a Chinese woman a flop. Thankfully, not every Chines woman is like this.
I married a Chinese woman and she is not like this at all.
Nov 2, 2012 22:53
#4  
GUESTJOE Hi GUEST17115, you are lucky. But for foreigners who want to marry Chinese, they should be well prepared to face any result caused by culture difference. The consequences in his article are true in some aspects, so it is a good reference for international marriage.
Dec 13, 2012 18:04
#5  
GUEST73208 Hi
This is Len from the usa I married a girl from china a year ago she is the best thing that has happened in my life As for the family and the controling part thats up to you if you let it happen dont blame anyone but yourself always make things clear what you want and what you dont If you cant agree then dont get married
Jan 4, 2013 10:19
#6  
  • GUNNARF11
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I just sat and watched an American TV program dealing with "buy one partner or spouse by mail order." It was American companies that cooperated with similar marriage agencies in Russia.
Even in China, there are many such companies, but now I have heard these companies handle correspondence between man and woman. The company has many employees "ghost writer" to whom a number of people that they would write to. The man from abroad choose one or he is interested in knowing more about. In many cases, the girl does not know what is written in the letters as they are written by employees of the company. The man thinks he is writing to the girl and translates the letter. That is not the case. He looks forward to meeting the girl he "met" through letters, but in fact not written a word. It is written by professionals. The aim is that it should lead to a wedding, where the broker should provide much and thus earn more.
Obviously I do not understand how some men go to China to take an example, and after a few days to decide to get married and then go home after a few days. Then wait a few months before they can collect their mail order wife. He has taught to know another person by letter that he believes is one he marries. Quite likely loose. Living with a person he did not come to know, often with very different cultural background and often poor language skills.
When buying a car, many far more investigating. Also, if you've made a bad purchase can quickly often with a small loss selling car. It could be more normal.
I do not know how to determine that you are going to live with a person known only a few dagar.Det feels as if these people have any kind of problem. One person I know has "downloaded" three Thai women, but there are six of them and he has been stopped and can not get more. Tragically the girls meet such a man.
Many patients probably not how these companies operate. (I did not know it myself, but heard a lot about them in the years I lived in China).
Jan 11, 2013 18:57
#7  
GUEST28139
Quote:

Originally Posted by GLOOMYSUNDAY

This is histrionic, but true in some aspects. I think there must be things Chinese have to bear too if she gets married to a foreign husband, right? culture difference is everywhere in life.


of course! i have been married with my "white boy" for 7 years. i love him in many ways , but here is something i just don't get it: 1. waste food. if you can't finish your dishes why not eat next time? but he never does. 2 no idea how to manage his credit cards. why you have to open a new credit account if you don't remember to pay for it? 3 too nice ( don't know how to say "no") sometime we have to say no when it is about bargain the price,turned out i was always a bad person... ... still i love him very much;-)
Apr 1, 2013 21:32
#8  
GUEST24672 Well, I'll put my two cents here. I have an ongoing relationship with a Chinese girl. Or should I say woman. We email every day. And we have gotten off the website many months ago. She has a friend doing the translating. I sent her some articles of clothing and she sent me back pictures. It has been about a year. Take the time and verify what you think you like...Then go for it! Life does not give you 100% guarantees. So, you go on faith. We end up training each other! If you have desire, you make adjustments and find a way.
Apr 15, 2013 09:28
#9  
GUEST60213 Well I am an American and I am considering marrying my Chinese gf, I will make this quick, I think most american family's have NO value! So having a wife that wants to push your kids to a better future s not bad, kids need that push because kids are STUPID! and yes they do nag ALOtE! But that's ok, also I think that the difference in culture is a good thing! Also there is nothing wrong with your wife asking you and wanting to know where you are going, it just means they love you and care about you! In my experience most women are crazy!! BUT at least with a Chinese women I know my kids will be rigorously pushed in the direction that gives them the best chance of being happy and successful! Lastly, getting a REAL Chinese women to want to be with you and to love you is not EASY, so don't think you will By chance be with one and have to decide if you want to stay with her or not, if you are with her then its because you have worked for it, so you already know the deal :) just my thoughts
May 6, 2013 22:40
#10  
GUEST22772 I was engaged to a Chinese woman I met on a dating site. Yes, an old white guy CAN get a younger Chinese bride. The main reason is because divorced Chinese women or women over 30 are at a terrible disadvantage: Chinese men DON’T WANT them. So a divorced Chinese woman or one over 30 has few alternatives but to marry a white guy if she wants to be married at all. For them, being married is very, very important.

We all ask ourselves, “what does this woman REALLY want?” This was my question too. I often suspected my Chinese fiancée of using me for money or for gaining a green card, but I was terribly wrong about her. All she really wanted was a decent husband. The only status boost she wanted was to be a married woman like her mother, her sister, her girlfriends.

Yes, when you are entering into an exchange like this there is a good chance the woman may not really “love” you, so any man doing so should not expect the moon and stars. But if you are nice to her, she CAN grow fond of you. Being nice is the hard part, though, because Chinese women have inflexible ideas about what it means to be a decent husband and how a Chinese woman should be “respected.”
Assumptions about Chinese women being submissive could not be more wrong. I have discussed this with several old white guys like myself, and many say their Chinese wives are demanding and difficult. They also say Chinese women insist on being the boss of the household, so let them think that if it makes them happy.

When a Chinese woman asks her husband for something, she’s not scamming—she feels this is something she truly needs, usually to save face with her family or friends. Some men automatically assume these women are being materialistic or greedy—and some are—but with a normal, decent Chinese woman it’s more about self-esteem. You have to make her feel loved—on her terms—and she will test you often. This often involves doing things for her without questioning or buying her something she can show off to her friends. Tell her no at your peril. Best to just give her what she wants and tell her you trust her not to ask for things she doesn’t really need.

If she feels you do not show your love properly, she will stop loving you--instantly. She can shut it off like a faucet.

Above all, never yell at, insult, or embarass her.

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