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Thread: How to deal with the lies and the lying liars?
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[quote=GUEST71856,485159] There are ways of telling the truth without causing pain or offence. Assuming you love your girlfriend/wife/mother, then you love them and think they're lovely regardless of what they're wearing. If you do think their bum looks big and you know they have another outfit that looks better, you could say they look great, but the other outfit is a knockout. Go overboard with praise if they do change, so they don't feel insecure. If they haven't or you don't want to say that, your answer is "You look lovely. You always look beautiful to me", which should be the truth. Then you give them a big hug and kiss. It's a moment of insecurity and to be told you're beautiful and loved no matter what is the boost that's needed. The question they're really asking is "Am I good enough?" and you've given them the answer "Always and forever", which will make you very popular. I had partners where I would have to ask how I looked and they'd say "alright" or "you'll do". My fiance is completely different (which is why I'm marrying him). I see in his face he's telling the truth. He always says the above (unprompted by me) and also says "I'm always so proud to be seen out with you". He makes me feel very special and loved. I feel more confident and secure at 44 than I did in my 20's. So what if my bum does look big. He thinks I'm beautiful and loves me no matter what. I could go out wearing the living room curtains and he'd feel the same. At 30 (28 when I met him) he's more mature than any of the men I dated in their 40's. As for the friend in hospital, assuming you have a similar sense of humour, you can tell the truth but hopefully make them laugh and feel better. If it were one of my friends I would say honestly, "I've seen you look better, but I've seen you look worse too" and remind them of fashion faux pas or nights on the razzle. My friends would say, "What are you talking about, that top looked great!" and I would say on the contrary, my retinas are still damaged. Sometimes a laugh is what's needed. Ringo Starr saw George Harrison on his death bed, stayed as long as he could, but had to leave as his daughter was about to have surgery for a rain tumour. Harrison smiled and said "want me to come with you?". Ringo Starr always smiles when he tells the story as his last moments with George were happy. It could have been really painful. I'm glad for both of them it wasn't.[/quote]
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