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Thread: Why marry a Chinese girl?
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[quote=ERENCIUS,248849]The problem can be the place of money in our society, money meaning freedom and independance to many, it can explain why the Western modern family can now be summed up as a nuclear family, being quite often a blended family. Before some legislative victories in the 50's in France (earlier anywhere else in Europe except maybe for Spain and Italy) women had no right to earn their own money and needed to ask for the husband's allowance to apply for a job. Here the roles were divided clearly, the man works, the woman (being dependant) stays at home and wont divorce since she has no other revenu (moreover it was often forbidden for the woman to divorce). In other societies it was even worse. Yet the couple went on, no matter the problems met. Nowadays, well, everyone works. In itself it is not a problem. But it had a lot of consequences on the conception of family... As women do not need men to survive and to exist, the youngest generations felt they can lead the same existance as men, now both of the couple actors are free in this society (having money meaning being free), so couples don't last too long. This is not the only reason of course. This evolution is parallel to the development of individualism. We think more an more as an individual, less and less as a group (couple or anything else). We favour individual happiness (in love, in friendship) just like we favour our career: your husband is not good enough in anything that matters for you! Have it changed and let him pay the alimony... Could be the same for a job: it is just a matter of opportunity. I even think sometimes that it looks more and more like a market. Personaly I don't wish anyone to rely on anyone else to survive. I think women independance is a really good thing, but in the 20th century's context, it had unexpected effects that could be forseen. Everyone can be happy now (individualy or with the others but usually for a short period of time) but the family conception, as it existed, disapeared at the same time. Something appears another goes... Depends on what you liked the most. I guess this is why some Europeans try to find their best part in China. Though the notion of independant work exists there, most of the women still think family happiness is the most precious thing in life. They are looking for someone to share their life and will always try to preserve the family unity. I guess one of the problems with Chinese guys is that they often wish to marry virgins (I heard a lot about it). This is an extremely traditional vision of marriage (even backward) that still prevails though it is changing. I heard many girls feared to have relations with any guy unless they agree to marry them (though often they are no more virgin). Let's say most probably Chinese girls have the same ideal about family as Chinese guys, this is the main reason I guess. It is impossible for a Chinese guy to marry thinking he ll have to divorce soon in one third of the cases. This is understandable.[/quote]
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