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Thread: Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc.
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[quote=GUEST61113,332269]interesting points... My husband is Chinese (from China-- as I might have stated above) and I'm non-chinese and American. You know, my husband doesn't show affection always and sometimes I get hurt or upset with him because I feel he's a bit cold. He doesn't like it when I say that-- sometimes I cry and get mad at him because he acts cold. Sometimes i think it's just a veil he wears to cover up his pain or hurt and so he wants to seem strong and invincible. He does try-- so I think it is just in his culture and so engrained in him to be that way. He only knows what his parents and society taught him and what he's seen in movies/etc. as examples. So, he has tried by holding my hand, etc. i don't ask him to go too far there-- so I don't ask him to kiss me in pubic except if he's picking me up at the airport in China and I haven't seen him in a long time and he tell him ahead of time: you'd better give me a BIG HUG and KISS!! and we just give a normal kiss-- not anything too sensual. I'm a little shy in public, too haha so it's okay. But, I do believe when he understands that I need more affection...he tries. He definitely has his way of expressing love and I have mine-- definitely cultural differences there. He expresses love by cooking really good food, massaging my back or feet, or doing things for me like coming home at break or lunch to surprise me-- or joking with me or flirting with me (or doing things he doesn't like to do but does them because i insist). I express love in some of those ways too, but the difference is -- as b/w many westerners and chinese is that I am more verbal I think-- more demonstrative with body gestures, touching and words. He's less in that department. But...he's definitely shown me emotion-- he cries sometimes and shows his feelings. But, he says that he says he's not crying for Me...but for himself (hmmmm) when we get in a fight or something. bad? narcissism at its best? Maybe. He's really sensitive about feeling he's not being trusted...OMG! If he feels I'm not trusting him he goes OFF! We haven't lived together in the states yet though...he's coming here soon so it'll be interesting to find out what he's like and how I am in the relationship where it's "real" and not fantasy-- day to day grind. Hope that sums it up (for now) :)[/quote]
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