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Thread: Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.
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[quote=GUEST22772,495843]I was engaged to a Chinese woman I met on a dating site. Yes, an old white guy CAN get a younger Chinese bride. The main reason is because divorced Chinese women or women over 30 are at a terrible disadvantage: Chinese men DON’T WANT them. So a divorced Chinese woman or one over 30 has few alternatives but to marry a white guy if she wants to be married at all. For them, being married is very, very important. We all ask ourselves, “what does this woman REALLY want?” This was my question too. I often suspected my Chinese fiancée of using me for money or for gaining a green card, but I was terribly wrong about her. All she really wanted was a decent husband. The only status boost she wanted was to be a married woman like her mother, her sister, her girlfriends. Yes, when you are entering into an exchange like this there is a good chance the woman may not really “love” you, so any man doing so should not expect the moon and stars. But if you are nice to her, she CAN grow fond of you. Being nice is the hard part, though, because Chinese women have inflexible ideas about what it means to be a decent husband and how a Chinese woman should be “respected.” Assumptions about Chinese women being submissive could not be more wrong. I have discussed this with several old white guys like myself, and many say their Chinese wives are demanding and difficult. They also say Chinese women insist on being the boss of the household, so let them think that if it makes them happy. When a Chinese woman asks her husband for something, she’s not scamming—she feels this is something she truly needs, usually to save face with her family or friends. Some men automatically assume these women are being materialistic or greedy—and some are—but with a normal, decent Chinese woman it’s more about self-esteem. You have to make her feel loved—on her terms—and she will test you often. This often involves doing things for her without questioning or buying her something she can show off to her friends. Tell her no at your peril. Best to just give her what she wants and tell her you trust her not to ask for things she doesn’t really need. If she feels you do not show your love properly, she will stop loving you--instantly. She can shut it off like a faucet. Above all, never yell at, insult, or embarass her. [/quote]
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