| Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc. | |
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| Oct 25, 2008 21:20 | #11   |
 | GUEST61113, Men are not as expressive as women. A great number of men have emotions but they don't know how to express them. A majority of men try to pretend to be macho by never showing the weakness and feeling in front of others. ( Many men believe that displaying their affection for their lovers in front of their friends is an embarrassment.) |
| Oct 25, 2008 23:21 | #12 |
| GUEST61113 | That's unfortunate. |
| Nov 2, 2008 22:45 | #13 |
| GUESTYUTANG | 'Love' is a christian concept, not Asian. So chinese men would rarely display their affection for the wife in public unlike in Western society. In Buddhist Thailand, Japan, Korea, Burma and many moslem countries, public displays of affection for the opposite sex is taboo and considered uncivilized. 'Duty', 'responsibility' are an inherent part of Confucian societies like in Singapore, Malaysian Chinese community, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong and China - core values that are timeless and valued as "good character" of the man. Although times have changed as more of the younger generation in China embraced decadent western ways, traditional Confucian values are still an integral part of Chinese society and that is good. Western practices and trends are based on giving instant gratification and therefore has no moral value - they are to be avoided and discarded. |
| Nov 2, 2008 23:45 | #14 |
| 'Love' is a Christian concept, not Asian” really Guestyutang. How do you account for “The Arabian Nights” not a western (Christian book) or the Karma Sutra, which was not just a manual on physical positions. There are also numerous Chinese love poems that I won’t bother to list. And on Confucianism, a woman’s place was at the very bottom of the rung. Viewed only as a chattel. Take a look at the date on your calendar. Dodger. |
| Nov 3, 2008 09:23 | #15 |
| Goal is same, but both you are thinking from different angle. |
| Nov 3, 2008 18:21 | #16 |
| GuestYuTang, I guess you are an old dated Chinese man from conutryside who is confusing us. If Confucian ideology was dominant in today's PRC, China would lose half of its talents - women's talents. Confucianism has it bright side but most part of it serves traditional oriental style ruling class who uses it as a tool to suppress women and creativity ( we call it tool of fooling people). The sub-stream chinese phylosophy- Taoism is more close to western values but was discarded by ruling class in china. Duty or responsibility is common value to both western cultures and oriental cultures. You cannot say it's only men in chinese community who own this virtue. And could you explain us the LOVE in Christian concept? |
| Nov 4, 2008 01:29 | #17 |
| GUESTBRIT | Get a real education DODGER or did you dodge most of it when young. Arabian nights is a creation by western romantics and kamasutra IS a sex manual you plank!! |
| Nov 4, 2008 04:04 | #18 |
| Guestbrit, you’ve obviously not read either. I have the Arabian Night version translated by Sir Richard Burton. Let us all know when you have actually had a read. I’m not sure if either has a Dummy version though. Dodger. |
| Nov 4, 2008 17:13 | #19 |
| This is my take on Love etc. It starts as LUST, that right a man's first thoughts are "she's beautiful and I want to bed her". No man looks at a woman and says "I want to marry that woman". Love sometimes comes with and after LUST, but LUST is always FIRST. There are always exceptions to the rule, also when men age and mature their thinking changes a little but LUST is always there. |
| Nov 20, 2008 21:40 | #20 |
| GUESTGUESTHK | >>I guess you are an old dated Chinese man from conutryside who is confusing us. If Confucian ideology was dominant in today's PRC, China would lose half of its talents - women's talents. Confucianism has it bright side but most part of it serves traditional oriental style ruling class who uses it as a tool to suppress women and creativity ( we call it tool of fooling people). The sub-stream chinese phylosophy- Taoism is more close to western values but was discarded by ruling class in china. I'm a very young Chinese guy. Tho I'm too young to speak of marriage (but relationship, yes, somehow), I should say that's not exactly right. I think people socialize with people, not people "as" a culture. You don't judge people based on their culture (as a collective term for the thinking of millions of them in the same country), but on them as individuals/persons. >>Do men in China feel it's desirable to be friends (like a best friend) with the wife? I don't (personally) get this, tho I do see a lot of couples being that gd friends. >>Do Chinese men typically feel that marriage is not the place for "love and romanticism" but just an institution of convenience or for survival (have children and to acquire property, have a foundation, etc.)? I forget to say I'm always based in Hong Kong, so it may be a bit different. Here, people marry, exactly, as an institution, and you aren't supposed to leave it... (at least for many of those who are 30 sth now) but other than that, relationships can be as frequent as u like before it, I guess. |
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