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Thread: Kids Grow up with Grandparents - Good or Bad?

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[quote=ROGERINCA               ,23484]This is a very interesting topic !!In western (American) culture, it is the exception that the children are raised by the grandparents.  Usually only in case of death or illness, or maybe incarceration of the child’s parent (s).  I know and understand that in the Chinese society, this is more predominant and has been for some time now, due to a variety of societal and cultural factors.  It is difficult to fully discuss such a complex issue in a few sentences in this forum.I think that whenever possible a child should be raised by his/her parents.  This is what is most natural and what is best for the child.  Grandparents have a role, but that should be as the ‘grandparent’ and not primary caregiver.  Grandparents tend to spoil grandchildren, and with advancing age they may not have enough energy and/or be able to physically do all the things that younger parents are able to do with their child.  I had a friend in China about two years ago.  When she was an infant, in the early 1970’s, her parents had to go to another province to find work.  She was left with her grandmother to be raised until about age 12.  She only saw her parents about once or twice each year.  She became very close to her loving grandmother, and even after reuniting with her parents, she always felt the closer bond to her grandmother, more so than her mother.  In her mid twenties, she got married and had a son, who in now age 10.  She is now divorced, and as she has been a single mom for about five years, her son has been raised by her parents more than her, due to her career and time at her work.  She complained to me often, about worry that her mother was spoiling her young son too much.  It seems the cycle is repeated.I am not a judgmental person.  I understand that life presents frequent challenges and some obstacles.  However, I think that it is best for the child to be raised primarily by the mother and if possible the father, as a team.  Sometimes the parents must sacrifice much to raise a child.  This includes the father as well as the mother. I have personal experience in this, but I surely do not have all the answers :) :)[/quote]

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