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Thread: Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.

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[quote=GUEST24242,598786]I am a 63 year old man who has been married to a Malaysian Chinese woman for over 20 years.  When I married my wife we were both in my forties.  She is four years older than me.    There are huge cultural differences.   Be very careful.  The distinction between the truth and a lie does not exist among mainland or overseas Chinese as it does in the West.   If a lie will avoid an immediate conflict Chinese people will easily lie and feel no moral guilt.   Lying does not carry the negative stigma in Chinese culture that it has in the West.

The family is of number one importance to Chinese woman.  If you marry a woman with children you will never be able to enter the inner sanctum in which the mother and children reside.  As they become adults this situation becomes much worse.  In some ways you may be treated as an outsider in your own home.

The biggest problem you may face is communication.   Make sure your future wife has taken at least a year of ESL classes.   Communication is a very difficult issue for Chinese without a language barrier,  let alone with one.  Remember you are marrying both your wife and her family.  If you have children from a previous marriage do not expect your new wife to warmly except them in the way you would except her children.   She may reject this totally without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Prepare for your Chinese wife to be controlling.  She wil not think to research whether she is right or wrong.  For her , her tradition is always right.

Finally you may find that Chinese woman for not apologize for mistakes or bad things she has done.  She may never apologize for the lies she assuredly will tell you.  Her family will lie to you.   Good luck.[/quote]

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