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Thread: Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.

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[quote=GUEST11240,606072]Warning.   Anybody wishing to marry a Chinese woman from the mainland will see a common theme throughout the posts.  Some are the extreme as you would have with any person, however, there are certain characteristics that seem to be hard-wired.

Before, I start I will say that I am in a crumbling marriage to a Chinese woman after six years and that I am by no means perfect.  I take responsibility for my part.   However, there are things that I wish I would have thought of at the beginning.

1/ The cultural divide is huge.  Not the day to day living, (spitting, burping, eat with their mouths open, etc), but what is proper.  I've gone out with Chinese women from the mainland before, but they had been living in the West for 10 years or so and had integrated themselves with Western culture.  Generally, often their travel is limited to China only, and their perceptions of Western men (good and bad) is based on movies.

2/ They genuinely care about your health.  However, some of their health solutions (after eat fruit and vegetables) might not be that healthy.  Chinese medicine.

3/ The "face thing" could take a book to understand.  This is not only with respect to your behavior, but also can apply to the type of car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live.  This is not greed necessarily, but a cultural status thing.   As many have posted, you did something wrong, it might take a while to find out what it is.  Then, you shake your head going WTF?

4/ "I am a traditional woman, who loves family and looking to meet traditional man". Traditional in China means the husband is paying for everything.   Family means loves her own family and not necessarily yours.

5/ She was lazy.  She spent a lot of time in her pajamas.  Reading, chatting on WeChat with friends.  She wouldn't take a job that she felt was beneath her or for lower-class people.

6/ Although it got better, I found her a little racist.  Mostly with other Chinese.  She looked down on people from certain provinces.

7/ She needed a lot of attention.  Okay, maybe this is just her.  If I didn't keep touch or give her constant encouragement I would get the "who is she"?  This got to be a nuisance.

8/ Money.  I knew this going in.  She said your money is my money, my money is my money.  Sounded fine until she started by unnecessary stuff.  (who needs two I-Pads?)

I had been a single Dad for many years so maybe I wasn't thinking straight.  If you had gotten out of a bad relationship in the West, a Chinese woman will seem like a breath of fresh air.  At first.   You can spend time in China like I did and think you know.   Then when they come to the West, they go through a change.  She wasn't a gold digger, but the relocation can be very stressful for a long time.  I guess this applies to anyone moving away from their comfort zone.

Take you time if this is the way you wish to go.[/quote]

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