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Thread: Bride Price questions

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[quote=JACKAROO,313195]Hi Ognat

I have had an experience like this.  I was communicating with a woman from Nanning for a four months and then went to see her.  I knew by then that I would probably be up for translators fees of about 10,000 RMB if I married the lady.  I knew this from visiting other websites that talk about the process of marrying a Chinese lady.  The pressure was on bigtime to marry when I visited her, no relationship need be entered into.

She was looking for a husband and a father for her 5 year old son.  I was attracted to her but aware that they demands were all coming from her and the money was going to all come from me.  When I returned to Aussie we spoke on the webcam.  She started talking about 10,000 RMB for betrothal fees and goodness knows how much for pictures I started to worry.  When she would not give me a ballpark figure for the wedding party I started to feel that I was going to be setup when I arrived back there again.

It was made worse when she admitted that she had stopped English lessons months before after we had an agreement that I paid 1,000-2,000 RMB a month for her living while she studied English.  Her reason for giving them up was that the teacher had bad pronounciation.  I was not impressed.  She later admitted to earning 600 Yuan a month before she quit her job to meet me.  She had requested 1,000 month to live on while studying English.

She followed this up by saying that she was not going to be able to speak with me on the webcam as the neighbour she was sharing the connection with was leaving.  Somehow I was expected to put more money forward.  After paying for all the wedding stuff, betrothal fees and I then of course going to keep her and her son and educate her son.  They don't want much.  I thought that if this is what it is now what will it be in the future.  How much was I going to be paying to her parents per week?  Some men pay $50 USD per week.

I could see myself facing many unreasonable demands from these people for many years.  I bailed out.  I think you have to go carefully in this.  They make up all the rules (supposedly culture) and it all goes their way.  It is a good game but I don't want to play.  It may be their culture but giving money to others that I have worked hard for is against my culture.  I understand that this may be appropriate in the first marriage I don't think in the second marriage.

Jackaroo[/quote]

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