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Thread: Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?

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[quote=GUESTTSIEN,386414]My perception about western culture is that basically it is a matriarchy when it comes to dating.
This is in contrast with Chinese culture which is more or less patriarchal in structure and this contrast does not help us much.

So, for a Chinese man, who is absolutely conscious about his asian culture, it looks ridiculous to go on the dating ground making the first step toward a western woman.
This first thing that comes to the mind is one has to play the game of the puppet and the other one the puppet master. So, for any later generation Chinese who live in a western country, playing the game of western people is rather straightforward. I am talking about those who are fully absorbed by the culture.

In chinese culture where there is still more possibility of friendship between men and women, dating is not a one-man show where the female is the puppet master but instead, there is reciprocity whether the woman likes the man or not. Here, reciprocity means the woman will participate in a relationship friendly or politely even if it does not last.

In western culture it’s more like a one-man show similar to a movie where the hero will vanquish all evils to get rewarded in the end. While in reality, there may be more frustrations than rewards. During all this, the woman decides about the scenario of the movie.
Even if the media portrays asian men as nerds or other unattractive brainiacs, the most difficult barrier is still culture related.

Well this is approximately a summation of the situation as a personal perception which may be shared by other Chinese men whether it is consciously or unconsciously.

As for western men and asian women, things are just the opposite. The western man who “escapes” from a matriarchy experiences such “relief” meeting an asian woman who may also experience a “similar relief”. She does not have to shoulder the responsibility of “defending” or preserving her asian culture vis-à-vis the western man. In asian societies it is the men who defend or decide about how the culture should be, so the women are more or less relieved of this task.
Since that western man is used to making the first step easily, his effort is “so quickly” rewarded when it comes to dating an asian woman. No game, no hoop, just plain business. But this does not imply that asian women are easier than other women. It means that, due to every favorable conditions, cultural or otherwise, this relationship occurs much faster and much more often than if it were the other way round (western women vs. Chinese men).

This disparity between the two situations is often overlooked or misunderstood. The most common misinterpretation is asian women are beautiful and asian men are ugly (or whatever).
When it comes to dating, western territory belongs to western women, and eastern territory belongs to asian men. Between those two territories, western men and asian women have it much easier than the other way round.
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