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Thread: Pay 20,000 RMB to her family??

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[quote=JACKAROO,313230]CHYNAGYRL: Thanks for your compassionate post.  When I read your post I thought that maybe the betrothal/dowry payment makes sense in the first marriage between two Chinese people but not the second marriage between a Chinese lady and a Western Man.  I thought this because you brought out the extra costs that a Western man faces which are bringing up someone else's child (which is a generous act) when he probably has already finished bringing up his own and bringing new wife and her child to his country.  There is as you say financial assistance in the future by way of his wife travelling back to China to support her parents in sickess for example, her and her child's trips back to see family in China and/or may bring her parents to his country.  I think you post suggests fairness which I think is a new concept in this situation and I think it is great that you do so

Guest 15522:  I agree with your synopsis.  I think fairness will only happen if you demand it  No doubt this will end most relationships but if you do not make a stand in the first instance you have opened a gate that will get wider and can never be shut.  Oh the pain![/quote]

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