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Thread: Chinese women and American men

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[quote=GUESTCONFUSED,415495]Hey all,

What do you think:

I'm an unemployed American (Caucasian) attending college for a degree to help my career. I've been dating a Chinese-born advanced college student (from the Hong-Kong area) over the past 3 years. She came to the US a few months before we met, and lives with family. She's in her mid-twenties, I mid-thirties. I'm her first Love, as she says. Some of her family members already hold Green Cards in America, and her parents will soon be here in a few years.

Her fluency in English is superb (along with Cantonese and Mandarin), and we talk about everything. She smarter than me, at least educationally.  Although we have fun intimately, and we both satisfy the other, she wants to remain pure until marriage which I respect.  Marriage wont be until another few years, if it happens.  She seems to be a nice and caring soul, and works a lot at various jobs. She seems to be a little bossy at times. Also, her mom was the breadwinner in the family.  She was not spoiled, growing up in a middle-class lifestyle, although she did not begin working until 2 years ago.

Her family (in both China and US) have not met me, but know of me but not much about me. To her friends at school, I'm only a friend.  Some of her close friends know about our relationship, while others do not.  All this has made me in some ways, uneasy.

Because of this and other reasons, I started dating someone else about half-year ago (an experienced American similar to me in age and personality). More passion exists between the American and myself. I've also opened up to her more emotionally in a much shorter timespan too. It seems we're on the same level, in many ways, and that we can both help each other out.  I've been introduced to some of her family, and will meet her parents soon.

To make matters even more confusing, the Chinese and the American both know about each other, although I've told them both I will decide which one to continue with soon.  But even before I told them, I talked about breaking up to the Chinese, or to open our relationship so she could possibly date other people. She does not want to. Even after I told her, she still refuses to break up with me, giving explanations as to why we shouldn't and the like. She cherishes our communication, and she seems to be ok with my infidelity, even though she's cried a lot.

Overall, because the Chinese refuses to depart, and that there are qualities in both I like, I'm having trouble on which path to take.  What's the Chinese underlying purpose; is it actually Love, a mixture of reasons, or something else entirely? These and other questions abound in my head. Also, what is the American's?

In the long run, there's probably a better security with the Chinese. But what is security if nothing else?  (I've been there before, and I don't want to go there again).

I've never dated a Chinese woman before, so hence this post.[/quote]

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