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Thread: Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?

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[quote=CLOUDHANDS,311803]My own experience counters the premise of your post. My boyfriend is Chinese, and he says he wants to marry a Western woman the second time around. He says gossip in the Chinese community (of 20,000) is unbearable, and he has divorced himself from complications within the community. I find Asian men to be among the most attractive in the world because of their cultural values and personal attributes. I don't discount American men, but feel put off most of the time by what is often regarded as typical masculine identity here, which feels pushy and arrogant to me. I think that in America during the past two generations, we have really missed the boat in terms of setting priorities for family and education. 
Since I place a high value on education as an attribute in a potential mate, my boyfriend is a dream come true. We have much in common in our personalities and interests, particularly a curiosity to learn and question.

Why don't Asian immigrant men marry white women? Oftentimes, it is the the media that portrays what little information people have about other kinds of people, if they do not come into direct contact with various cultures. It is human nature to try and fill in the missing information with a general impression based on limited knowledge. When I lived in Korea, I had to represent all white people to my young students, who, having never met a white person, expected me to look like someone they saw in the media. In the US, Asian men get had little or no press, except stereotypical images which are very different from  the "John Wayne" American image of a male.  When I read the posts over the 7 pages written here, I see many people describing their personal experiences, and then trying to generalize from only one valid aspect, thus creating a distorted view. It is embarassing to me, to say to my European  friends " Well, yes, I agree with your negative impression of Americans, but you simply can't generalize a whole continent of people who came from many cultures." I am really not sure that many people are willing to leave their own comfort zone and culture in order to comtemplate other ways of thinking, and more complex issues. As long as that is true, there will be white men looking for Asian women because they think they are "subservient", Asian media portraying white people as "barbarians", and American media portraying Asian men as "nerds." But when you meet people who have have made the effort, experienced the culture shock and reverse culture shocks, made relationships with people from many cultures, we all benefit. I hope the discussion on this post continues..[/quote]

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