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Thread: Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.

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[quote=GUEST28208,533560]I was married to a woman from Shanghai. She was really nice to me before we were married. She became negative, critical and angry soon afterwards. We met in the US. She was living here without a visa. I did not try to mislead her, but she thought I was richer than I was, because I had a nice house and car. Had I been more careful to communicate my financial status, she never would have married me. It would have saved me a lot of grief and money.

She constantly told me that Shanghai people were better than other Chinese people, and that other Chinese people did not like Shanghai people. I discovered that many Chinese people are not as materialistic as the people from Shanghai I know.

Although I had a bad experience, I still want a Chinese wife. I put my profile on a Chinese dating site and had 97 responses in 72 hours! Wow! I've never had it so good!

I met several ladies online that I could easily fall in love with. One of them really captured my heart. I'm 66 and she's 52 and retired. We video chat by QQ 2 hours or more every day.

There are a few things I've learned:

1. Don't even consider marrying a Chinese woman without becoming an avid student of her culture. You had better know and like her culture, because you will be living with it.

2. Make sure you can communicate. Her English or your Mandarin has to be good enough to communicate all the things you expect from each other. A feeling of love isn't enough. How will you handle the money? Who is in charge in the family? What characteristics or attitudes do either of you have that could annoy the other? What makes you or her get angry? What do she do when she gets angry? If you cannot communicate things like that, you're heading for trouble. A pretty face and a nice body are enough to attract, but not enough to sustain a relationship.

3. God gave you a head to think with and a heart to feel with. Do your thinking with your head and not your heart. Just because you feel a powerful attraction for her does not mean she will be a good wife.

4. Be patient with her. She is leaving everything familiar to be with you. Strive to be very understanding with her. One famous author put it this way: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."

5. Try to make sure that she really wants you for the rest of her life. While a lot of Chinese women want love for life, many just want to immigrate and then divorce.

6. Don't put your house in both names until you are absolutely sure that she is committed permanently to you. You probably want to wait at least 2 years after she gets her permanent visa. In the meantime you can put it in your will so she gets it if you die.

7. Treasure her. The Bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." Finding a good woman and building a happy relationship for both of you for life is a great joy. In my opinion, a good Chinese woman is the best there is .[/quote]

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