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Thread: Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc.

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[quote=GUESTIDIOT,592977]I had a Chinese boyfriend who had lived in the US for 25 years.  He seemed very caring,  warm, and effectionate.  After having known each other as friends for over a year and having been romantically involved for over 6 months, we started making plans to spend our lives together and had enjoyed many common interests.  He insisted on meeting and did meet my parents, friends, and neighbors. Then he went out west to visit a very wealthy, single friend of his he had known since childhood who had homes in both China and the US.  After he spent a weekend with him, he sent me a text telling me he had to go to China for 2 weeks on personal business.  I had issues with this sudden mysterious necessity, but he insisted to me he was telling me the truth.  We got into a bad argument about this because he had been away a lot and had promised to not be away as much..,now suddenly this mysterious "need"to go to China.  If he had just told me he just wanted to go there, I think I would have dealt with it much better than what seemed obviously like a big lie.  He did not care about his appearance at all normally, but stayed up until after midnight to dye his hair to cover his grey  the nigh before he left on an early morning flight to China.  Upon returning from China, he announced quite casually that he is applying for a job and wants to move there.  He was offered the job in China, then broke up with me.  But then found out he would not be able to leave for three months and insisted that we get back together because he claimed he loved me.   I was stupid to believe him.  He stayed at my house for about 6 weeks and sold his condo and car, etc.We had never spent more than a month together before he would take off and travel for a month as he worked in two separate states which were over 1000 miles apart (one being the state I live in).  Before he moved in with me he promised he would stay with me the whole time before he had to leave for China...but he only stayed for 3 weeks at a time and gone for two weeks in between.  He said he wanted me to come to live with him in China but I must find a professional job there (not just teaching English).  I told him that will be a huge challenge as I do not speak fluent Chinese and am over 40.  He said I must figure out how in order to save our relationship.  He bought a ticket for me and paid for my visa to come visit him.  I was quite reluctant as one might imagine,but I went.  When I got there, I noticed that he never introduced me to a single friend or family member...even though they were very near where he lived as well as where we travelled to. I noticed that while in China he had published pics of his travels prior to my visit-though in the pics he was alone;but he did not publish any pics of even just himself on travels with me.  He did arrange for our travels and paid for flights and train tickets. He changed his mind several times to whether he wants me to be with him.After I got back,I terminated all contact.[/quote]

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