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Thread: Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc.

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[quote=GUEST58165,601631]A few comments from a westerner being married to a Chinese man for many years;

Chinese spend their youths studying incredibly hard, for gaokao and university, so rarely get to spend much time socialising with the opposite sex. In fact, they are actively discouraged from dating. Then, after completing studying there's suddenly a big rush to couple up and get married (especially for the girls, who don't want to end up as socially stigmatised "left over women"). Chinese guys therefore often come across as shy, in a way that may seem sweet and innocent to western girls.

BUT, when married, things change. Chines men, especially from more traditional families, easily become controlling and possessive. China is a very patriarchal society and domestic abuse is an endemic problem, with the women receiving very little if any help from society or the legal system.

Furthermore, China has a culture of adultery. More well off men often keep a mistress (ernai) and prostitution is extremely widespread.

Then there's the infamous Chinese mother in law...

I would strongly advice my fellow foreign girls out there to 1) not have children with a Chinese man (it will enable him to control you more than you can imagine) and 2) never move to China with him (you will have very poor prospects in case of a divorce, not to mention the legal process is in Chinese...)[/quote]

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