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Thread: Life, love, marriage. Making it work...?

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[quote=HUIXING,252120]Hi folks,

Finally signed up to seek advice from people who may have been in a similar situation. Thanks for your patience if you read through this:

I'm an UK citizen (29/male) currently in BJ, China, midway through a 6-month break from the west. I'm on a tourist visa which has 10 days of the 90 left to run. Shortly after I arrived in China, I happened upon a Chinese woman (35) and we became very close, almost inseparable for that month. I visited other parts of China as planned, taking a month (we'd SMS each other many times daily and spoke at length 3-4 times a week) and then met back with her. We're even closer after the time apart and love each other. I didn't plan on this (do you ever?), but it happened.

We've spoke about us being together and herein lies the difficulty.

Firstly, neither of us are in debt, but we're not well-off either and we both need, and want, to work. I'd prefer to move here knowing Chinese culture and how close families are but it's very difficult for me to find a job in my field (design), they're few and far between and my Mandarin is basic which seems a prominent requirement. Plus I do not see myself (or being remotely good at) teaching English as much as I'd be willing to do it to get here. She is willing to move to the UK, at least initially, and used to be an English teacher for almost 10 years in her home city, Baotou. Now she is a translator/interpreter and part-time tour guide. Also being a BJ Normal University graduate and with the experience, it *may* be easier to find a job in her preferred field in the UK as a Mandarin teacher or interpreter/translator. Even so, we recognise the difficulty in securing her a visa to the UK to work or stay for any length of time. She had a study visa rejected because of the lack of funds in her bank for the last six months.

Currently, I can either get a new visa from HK and return to the mainland, improve my Mandarin whilst continuing to search for a job here. But it may be fruitless. Another option is to return to the UK and find a job there (or an international company that can transfer, which also seems a remote possiblity) and a place to rent. Even so, it remains very difficult for her to join me unless she lands a job in the UK whilst still in China.

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