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Thread: Some advice.

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[quote=DAVEC,307195]I thought I would offer some worldy advice to my fellow readers. 
In no particular order.....

1,    Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak  or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know
the difference.

2,    Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about  yours, and ask for a nice steak.

3,    A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

4,    Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.

5,    Dont use the toilet at home, use it  at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

6,    Taxi drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before
starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so
it may as well look like one.
[/quote]

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