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Thread: Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc.
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[quote=GUEST19161,619706]I have lived with and been engaged to a Chinese man who is 49 for over 7 years now. Oh, the stories I could give you! I don't have time to let you know the absolute terror I have been through over the years! We decided to get married not too long after we met but he lied to me and said we were getting married in Feb after he went home at Christmas to China. When he came back in Jan he said no we can't get married now and I had already arranged everything down to the photographer. My friends had been helping me and I was completely embarrassed. It's gotten worse over the years. He often yells at me in public and curses me out quite quickly if I irritate him or make him mad. Often it has to do with his time or his money. I am 49 as well highly educated and had to quit work and now I'm in a wheelchair and require a lot of care because I had a car wreck last year. It has gotten worse since then. He yells at me almost everyday, even in church, Walmart, etc. He will say the worst things to me. I have nowhere to go however so I stay because I'm in a wheelchair and really don't want to live in a nursing home. I try to bear it, I'm a dedicated Christian and really struggle to accept his behavior. We have separate financial lives, he says I'm so stupid when it comes to money. He refuses, absolutely refuses to buy me any food during the month or pay any of my bills. I have to pay for everything related to me. I had to take a trip with him for example and he made me pay the vet bill for boarding my small dog although the trip was at his request and it was over $130. I have limited amounts of money, a nice check monthly but still it never covers everything I need and he makes a lot of money. Where does his money go? Our bills are not that extremely expensive. He is selfish, mean, cold, and works all the time obsessively. I spend maybe a total of one hour or 30 minutes per day with him in chatting or eating etc. He would prefer Chinese movies on his computer or working on his research. Although he has 2 PhDs, I have to be the one to fix his computer all the time, even connecting it to the network, rebooting it, etc. He just got a smartphone this Jan and I had to buy it and show him how to use it. He doesn't even text he only uses the phone and email. He doesn't appreciate any gifts. If I give him any shirts or pants, and I am the only one who buys clothes for him, he puts them in a suitcase and leaves them until I make him throw old clothes away because they have holes in them. His socks were just a little bit of cloth over the ankle, the heels and toes had been completely worn out and he got mad because I broke down and bought him new ones because I was embarrassed by this behavior. He refuses help unless he wants it. He never kisses me unless he simply pecks me on the lips. I am completely unhappy but do not know where to turn.[/quote]
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