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Thread: Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?
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[quote=GUESTHK ARTS GUY,382620]I'll end my discussion today with an important remark: So, after all, how come so few Chinese guys get even just to know western women? Apart from demographic reasons, now, I'm speaking of Chinese guys in Chinese societies in particular, the thing is they have some traditional thoughts/cultural misunderstandings 1) They think western women are too sexually open/independent/headstrong. This actually applies to men in general and thus has no weight. 2) They don't approach them out of fear of poor communication due to language/cultural barriers. This is valid but not specific to Chinese guys. When I was in Europe, people also had difficulty with me, wrongly assuming that I couldn't speak the local language as an Asian-looking person. And 2) is particularly influential. Psychologically speaking, other than racial concerns, non-Chinese women shouldn't have problems at all with Chinese guys. Here, I'll concede that Chinese guys don't know how to date well, me included, but this has to do with cultural practices than inherent cultural traits. Chinese guys don't usually pick up Chinese girls in bars (we don't have bars at large), but instead try to know them in classes/elsewhere where they can talk a lot. It's very seldom that they can pick somebody up after a few pick-up lines or in a bar, because VERY few (except liberal/westernized/promiscuous, etc, girls will ever go to bars) girls ever go to bars, and pick-up lines will almost certainly fail, unless you are a hugely cool guy. I heard of western women saying that it may be a good idea to know Chinese guys in a cafe. the moment you try to pick up in this way, you might well be embarrassed, if the girl 1) is very hostile, as in the case of most materialistic ones. I can't tell exactly here, but many many Chinese women in this kind of situation, since they aren't western either and usually are shy, they too will embarrass the guys and themselves anyway. They aren't like western girls who welcome any sort of dialogs in the lift/cafe/library/anywhere. They will stare at you until you feel guilty, and actually retreat their eye contact as soon as you bump into them, again unless you are really cool. So, I hate to admit, this is how especially Hong Kong girls don't do it for me much now. 1) they are too shy and socially inept, embarrassing even the most inviting guys. 2) it's very difficult to start conversations because they usually know so little about things/lack small talks/make the whole situation screwed up and very stressful. Shy girls aren't inherently innocent, remind you. 3) the more active, not so shy ones are often so prejudiced that they'll talk me off or give me really hostile gaze. I never had much success even in creating connections with Hong Kong girls. It's less difficult with other Chinese girls, but a number of them harbor the same kind of arrogant character. With western girls I almost never had difficulty, except a few who I just didn't have any interesting things to talk to.[/quote]
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