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Thread: One liners.....
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[quote=WESTNORWOODGAS,338740]I kept wondering why my Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge When at the window at the unemployment office, loudly say, "I didn't get to where I am today by listening to people like you!" I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work I had amnesia once - maybe twice Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument If you really love someone, throw the ball and say "Fetch!" If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see perfectly? They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken Alan [/quote]
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