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Thread: Bride Price
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[quote=GUESTGUEST39611,447348]Thanks to everyone here for their insights. I really appreciate it. But unfortunately, I don't think my relationship can be saved. I spoke to my girlfriend and she insisted there can be no compromise on the bride price. This worries me because I know that a successful marriage requires a willingness to compromise. So her stubborness does not bode well for the future. The 1.26 million RMB bride price is just one item in what seems to be a long list of demands. I must also own a house, and she wants to stop working when we have children, she wants to travel home at least once a year, provide support to her younger brother and sister, only eat Chinese food, so on. I realize this is all about her demands. There was a lot of warmth between us when we first met online. But I have not felt that warmth since we met in person. Now it just feels like two companies negotiating a business contract. But I think love is not about giving a list of demands. Of course, there has to be agreement about things like money, children, careers, lifestyle and future plans. But there must also be warmth, affection and emotion. Marriage is not just a business deal. I think she's getting bad advice from her family and friends. Their advice will make it hard for her to find a husband. No man is going to give his entire life savings as a bride price. So if she demands $200,000 (Canadian), then only a man who has much more than this would be willing to pay. And in addition to that, he must own a house. In effect, she is limiting herself to millionaires. Maybe she doesn't realize that millionaires tend to be status conscious and will usually prefer to find a woman from a wealthy family. They are unlikely to choose the daughter of a poor farming family (I don't intend that to sound mean. I'm just trying to be realistic). My girlfriend is a woman of simple, old-fashioned tastes and values. She doesn't wear make-up or jewellery. She doesn't care about the latest fashions or going shopping or out on the town (in fact, she doesn't even go out after 9:00 pm). I appreciate her simple, wholesome lifestyle and values. But I can't imagine her fitting in with the millionaire elite of Shenzhen, Hong Kong or abroad. So I think her family is putting her in a situation where she is limiting herself to dating only the very rich, but she is unlikely to be able to capture their interest. I fear their advice will cause her years of loneliness. I may not be super-rich, but I am confident in the kind of person I am and the kind of husband I can be in the future. I have a professional career with a good salary, job security and a great pension. I also have a good down payment saved for a home. But more importantly I'm always kind and loving in a relationship. I believe (hope) there are many women in the world who would appreciate what I have to offer. So if this is not enough for my current girlfriend, then I think she needs to look elsewhere for a husband.[/quote]
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