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Thread: Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?

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[quote=GUEST16383,364156]I am engaged to a Chinese man that I met while in Shanghai.  I am an American, born in Los Angeles, and I am not white (please remember that not all Americans are white).  Actually, I am of Samoan descent and am definitely not petite.  I'm not obese, either.  Maybe the correct word is "solid".

I have met many Chinese men in China and they weren't bothered by my larger frame at all.  In fact, some of them rather like it.  I guess it isn't that strange, because the Chinese have been in the South Pacific islands for some time now, but even my mother admits that we look unusual together. :)

My relationship with my fiance is wonderful except for one thing, and that would be his mother.  We had a wedding party (like a wedding, just without "making it official") in China last summer so his family could be included.  It was the best solution we could think of because we wanted to leave as few people out as possible.  Anyway, his mother skipped the tea ceremony and refused to even look at us at the banquet after she arrived late.  She refused to bless us and left early.  To this day, I do not know exactly what the problem was, but I can see how parental pressure can deter a Chinese man from marrying outside the culture because it is his responsibility to carry on the family name.  I guess part of the problem is that she didn't want "mixed" grandchildren with the family name and maybe other Chinese men face similar pressures.

Thank God her behavior upset my fiance (as well as the other relatives that were present) and it didn't stop him from still wanting a relationship with me, but after that wedding I was terrified.  I really thought he would leave me out of a sense of feeling obligated to his family.[/quote]

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