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Thread: What do you think of Chinese "Mistress Phenomenon"?

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[quote=GUESTGUESTX,279582]33 posts in this thread and it seems as if no one is writing from personal experience.  I'd like to offer a different perspective.  I'm a foreign man, around 40, resident in China for more than 12 years.  I have a Chinese wife and several children each of whom I adore.  My wife is a year younger than me. She is beautiful (rarely do I find that she is not the most beautiful girl in the room), despite the children she is in great shape.  She is exceptionally clever.  She is kind and great with the children.  I would marry her again tomorrow and I hope that when I'm dying, she is the one beside me.   I am as much in love with her now as I was on the day that I asked her to marry me more than 10 years ago.  When I've finished writing this I'll go downstairs, pick her up, make her laugh, help put the children to bed and then we'll watch a movie together.
However I also have a mistress whom I financially support.  I'm fortunate that money is not an issue for me. The money that I send to my mistress has no impact at all on my family. I would never do it otherwise.  She is a creature of glorious physical perfection - I can't put it any other way – if I were to post a picture her she would just knock your socks off.  Even if there was no physical element to our relationship I could sit and look at her as I would a work of art. I went to an all male boarding school and as a young man I was clumsy with women, I didn't know how to talk to them.  The idea that I would have a relationship with a woman who looks like this would be a crazy fantasy.   She knows that I love my wife and that I will never leave her and yes I know that its about money for her.  At the same time it is a relationship which is extremely honest and human and genuinely caring.  If it were only about the money she could walk into my office next Monday and blackmail me for enough money that she’d never have to work again.  She has the ability to be very successful in her own right and perhaps I can help her overcome the disadvantages of her background.   At some point it will have to end and I hope deeply that she will find her own true love and that when she is a grandmother she will look back and think of me as one of her dearest friends and someone who helped her to achieve happiness.
Yes it is deeply selfish and it is about my ego and yes I’m playing with fire but there are positives.  I believe it makes me a better husband to my wife, more attentive, less easily irked by those small irritants of marriage. Superficially, I’ve lost weight, I have more energy I have a spring in my step. My wife and my mistress are the same Chinese zodiac sign and the same month of birth, just 12 years apart, although they have different backgrounds they are very similar and could be good friends although that would presumably be over my dead body! I’m sure that some people will hate what I have said but I hope that a few of you will see that the man who keeps a mistress is not necessarily a monster.
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