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Thread: Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.

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[quote=GUESTTYLER40K,562559]I am currently married to my Chinese wife for a little over a year and living in China for the full experience. 
First I want to say that every woman is different. My wife is truly Chinese, with a highly traditional family and deep rooted nonsensical beliefs. Some people stated that Chinese mothers push their children. That is true, but as for happiness... In Chinese culture money IS happiness. Most of the kids here are miserable. They are driven day and night to study and learn thrown into extra lessons which they have no interest in. This is partly for maintaining face of being a good parent, for helping their children get good test scores so they can get into good colleges so they can make lots of "happiness", or even because the parents are too busy making happiness themselves to actually raise their children. Luckily for me, my wife isn't THAT Chinese woman. Some families' focus are so much on money that they don't raise their children at all and the children are raised exclusively by their grandparents. More extreme and less common(but still far too common) are parents sending their kids to live at their teachers house, who only provide studies, food and shelter.

Get ready for a massive culture conflict!!! Up is down and left is right. My wife thinks our child is so incredibly weak that even if there's a slight breeze coming his way, she will shield him like the wind was carrying the plague. My son needs to have a dead plant carried around with him at all times to keep evil spirits at bay. I'm not aloud to kiss my son while he's sleeping or he will always have a hard time growing up. The first 1-3 months after birth a woman has something called a sitting month/s. During this time she cannot leave the house, cannot wash her hair(or she will become sick when she is old), and for some more extreme cases, cannot even take a shower. Also, she too cannot be around any kind of wind, not even our electric fan during the hot summer month.

It's true about the being extremely protective of their children. They care and nurture the children too much. Most are overprotective, while some just have children to please their family. The overprotection, I would think, would make the child view themselves as weak too. This is especially the case for women in China who are seen as being fragile and thus need 100s of old traditions to keep them safe. When I ask why an American woman is so strong and doesn't follow any of the traditions, my wife responds, "because our bodies are very different. The Chinese woman is born weak".

Again, I love my wife very much but the cultural ideas and philosophies are vastly different. I believe it would be much easier for the husband if living in America though. I just want to say good luck, it's tough at times, and damn good at others.[/quote]

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