| Kids Grow up with Grandparents - Good or Bad? | |
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| Mar 13, 2006 02:23 |   |
 | The phenomenon in present day China is a norm rather than an exception. It will be more and more common in this aging society, young people - men and women both have to work outside to support big families and leave kids to their grandparents. Is that good or bad for the kids?? Having their children been spoiled maybe (there are exceptions) is only one of the prices those parents have to pay for the 'free' baby sitters. What do you say? |
| Mar 13, 2006 02:37 | #1 |
| I deem that it is bad for those little kids ,why a couple would willing to have a child ? most of them want to have a integrated family ,if they leave their child to grandparents ,how can they feel the happiness of having a child at home ? for those kids ,they can't get enough care from their parents , the relationship between child and parent would be unsubstantial ,can they organize a whole happy family ? for those grandparents , they finally can have their retired time to relax and enjoy life ,a little kid would bring more trouble and burdon ,they themselves are weakness who should be take care of ,how could they have the energy to feed up a little baby? |
| Mar 13, 2006 02:45 | #2 |
| I agree with Conny's views. If a couple cannot afford to have the time to look after the kid, don't have them. Pushing it to the grandparents is pushing their duties away. It is the equivalent of wanting to enjoy the process but not the conseuqences. This brings us to the concern raised earlier : Why get married & have a family ?!! |
| Mar 13, 2006 02:56 | #3 |
| a person can hardly live alone ,he would want to have another to accompany with . he found the right person in his life ,then get married ,a couple lived happily together but after a few years , there would be boring to see the same face everyday ,so they want to have a baby to undergird their relationship and seperate their attraction to the new member in their family . Hi , Pinetree ,that's what I thought :) |
| Mar 13, 2006 03:02 | #4 |
| I agree with conny:-) I don't think it is a good thing.For me,I grew up with my grandparents,and I have no very close relations with my family!!! |
| Mar 13, 2006 03:05 | #5 |
| From another angle, kids growing up with grandparents will pick some pointers from them - these can be good or bad. These kids might not feel close to their parents tho. Some grandparents also don't see looking after grand kids as a chore but an enjoyment - as they might have nothing much to do. Whatever, parents shouldn't have kids hoping to leave them to the granparents to help look after. Let me raise a separate thread on kids. |
| Mar 13, 2006 03:10 | #6 |
| yup,Cali ,those kids would have more affection with their grandparents rather than their parents . So why make your own child suffer the loneliness of living without their parents? |
| Mar 13, 2006 03:43 | #7 |
| If we don't work, we can't earn money for our child. If we go to work, we don't have enough time to company our child. Which one is more important? It's hard to say! |
| Mar 13, 2006 19:24 | #8 |
| This is a very interesting topic !! In western (American) culture, it is the exception that the children are raised by the grandparents. Usually only in case of death or illness, or maybe incarceration of the child’s parent (s). I know and understand that in the Chinese society, this is more predominant and has been for some time now, due to a variety of societal and cultural factors. It is difficult to fully discuss such a complex issue in a few sentences in this forum. I think that whenever possible a child should be raised by his/her parents. This is what is most natural and what is best for the child. Grandparents have a role, but that should be as the ‘grandparent’ and not primary caregiver. Grandparents tend to spoil grandchildren, and with advancing age they may not have enough energy and/or be able to physically do all the things that younger parents are able to do with their child. I had a friend in China about two years ago. When she was an infant, in the early 1970’s, her parents had to go to another province to find work. She was left with her grandmother to be raised until about age 12. She only saw her parents about once or twice each year. She became very close to her loving grandmother, and even after reuniting with her parents, she always felt the closer bond to her grandmother, more so than her mother. In her mid twenties, she got married and had a son, who in now age 10. She is now divorced, and as she has been a single mom for about five years, her son has been raised by her parents more than her, due to her career and time at her work. She complained to me often, about worry that her mother was spoiling her young son too much. It seems the cycle is repeated. I am not a judgmental person. I understand that life presents frequent challenges and some obstacles. However, I think that it is best for the child to be raised primarily by the mother and if possible the father, as a team. Sometimes the parents must sacrifice much to raise a child. This includes the father as well as the mother. I have personal experience in this, but I surely do not have all the answers :) :) |
| Mar 13, 2006 19:33 | #9 |
| o, Roger, your words always set ppl thinking! |
| Mar 13, 2006 20:43 | #10 |
| Hi,Roger, I had the same feeling with your friend,I lived with my grandparents 6 years!It is the best and most beautiful,happiest time for me! But now,I had close relations with my parents! :-) |
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