Q and A with a Chinese student.

Q and A with a Chinese student.
Jul 12, 2008 08:56	#11
MICHAELW Points: Join Date: Jul 12, 2008 Status: Offline	A Chinese girl (before marriage) knows nothing about what it's going to happen to them if marry to a Chinese man (who speaks Chinese as his native language, with parents who cannot speak fluent English or other languages). Their parents tell them to study hard. The society tells them to become good wives and good mothers. Media tells them to believe in love, eternally love. Marriage is about living together with family until the end of day. Romance is about sacrificing. Their friends tell them to find a man that is good-looking, rich and generous. Their observations tell them they cannot afford marrying to poor. Only married women can tell you what happen later. But they won't tell. They won’t let anyone know they are losers. Chinese culture is not nice to losers, weak, or the less fortune. One day a friend of mine said: "None of my girlfriends married to Chinese men end up good!" She married to an Australian, well educated and cultivated, of course. She has a master degree. "What do you mean by not ending up good?" I was confused, and shocked. "Their husbands have affairs. They divorced. Left with financial difficulties and grief. All of them." That was the first time I heard a Chinese woman talk about Chinese men that way - complete negation. However, when I repeat her words to other Chinese women, they were all astonished. Then they nod, one by one. It took me more than a decade studying this issue. Chinese mainlanders (in cities and in villages), Hong Kong men, overseas men (Southeast Asia, America, Australia). To me, that was shocks after shocks. Chinese female do not realize how badly they are fooled and misled. They don't realize how miserable life is as a Chinese woman. Or maybe they know, they just don’t want to think about it. There is no way out anyway. Chinese are very sensitive. Reality is simply too tough. Most of they choose not to listen, not to think, not to talk about it. They’d rather believe in what they want to believe, what they are told, or what make them feel/look good.

Jul 12, 2008 08:56

#11

MICHAELW
Points:
Join Date: Jul 12, 2008
Status: Offline

A Chinese girl (before marriage) knows nothing about what it's going to happen to them if marry to a Chinese man (who speaks Chinese as his native language, with parents who cannot speak fluent English or other languages).

Their parents tell them to study hard. The society tells them to become good wives and good mothers. Media tells them to believe in love, eternally love. Marriage is about living together with family until the end of day. Romance is about sacrificing. Their friends tell them to find a man that is good-looking, rich and generous. Their observations tell them they cannot afford marrying to poor.

Only married women can tell you what happen later. But they won't tell. They won’t let anyone know they are losers. Chinese culture is not nice to losers, weak, or the less fortune.

One day a friend of mine said: "None of my girlfriends married to Chinese men end up good!" She married to an Australian, well educated and cultivated, of course. She has a master degree.

"What do you mean by not ending up good?" I was confused, and shocked.

"Their husbands have affairs. They divorced. Left with financial difficulties and grief. All of them."

That was the first time I heard a Chinese woman talk about Chinese men that way - complete negation. However, when I repeat her words to other Chinese women, they were all astonished. Then they nod, one by one.

It took me more than a decade studying this issue. Chinese mainlanders (in cities and in villages), Hong Kong men, overseas men (Southeast Asia, America, Australia). To me, that was shocks after shocks.

Chinese female do not realize how badly they are fooled and misled. They don't realize how miserable life is as a Chinese woman. Or maybe they know, they just don’t want to think about it. There is no way out anyway. Chinese are very sensitive. Reality is simply too tough. Most of they choose not to listen, not to think, not to talk about it. They’d rather believe in what they want to believe, what they are told, or what make them feel/look good.

Jul 12, 2008 20:59

#12

MICHAELW
Points:
Join Date: Jul 12, 2008
Status: Offline

“In mainland China, cities look like Europe, villages look like Africa.” What does that tell you? Civilization. Civilization only appears in cities. Let’s take a look at what it’s like in big cities in China, and I’ll let you know what it’s like in rural areas in future:

IN MAINLAND CHINA – in cities:

• If a girl is still single when she's 30, everyone think there is something wrong with her. The older women start to laugh at her and look down at her. The men will try to "sleep with her" (but not to merry her) because they think she is desperate.

• Women older than 35 years of age have nearly 0 chance of getting a job, as it is believed that women after 35 are too "slow" and “lazy” (lack of energy). Women admit it. They can, however, become maids or sex workers.

• It is believed that women are less capable than men in most aspects, except spreading gossips, raising kids and spending money.

• If a woman chooses to be a career woman, she’d better has a father/family that is powerful enough to protect her, for this male-dominating society hates outstanding women. Everyone (include all men and older women) will try to push her down to hell, unless she pays them well. Once she has no more to give...

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