| How to reject a cigarette politely? —activechinese | |
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| Dec 26, 2006 07:07 |   |
 | How to reject a cigarette politely? —activechinese In China, when someone offers you a cigarette, if you neither want to accept it nor to be impolite, what could you do? I have found an interesting website, www.activechinese.com, which talks about this kind of stuff and also introduces some culture shock we might come across living in China. The standards of what may be considered a “non-smoking” section in a hotel, bar or restaurant in China may not be the same as what you’re accustomed to. By western standards, Chinese people smoke heavily and it’s considered common courtesy for one man to offer another a cigarette when they’re having a conversation. If you do not smoke, you can politely tell them that you don’t smoke, though it might be seen as very rude if you request someone not to smoke in front of you. People will typically not ask permission to smoke as they don’t see it as an offense to others. This is changing as China is modernizing. Now, many young urban people are realizing that westerners often dislike cigarette smoke. Though traditionally women do not smoke, now some young women are picking up the habit of smoking while many young men are refusing to pick it up. Read more： www.activechinese.com |
| Dec 26, 2006 07:25 | #1 |
| Thank you for that plug, but to be honest it isn't really worth anyone's time unless they want enrol on a language course, is it? |
| Dec 26, 2006 08:08 | #2 |
| It is very easy to say no to a cigarette, just say 'no thank you I NEVER smoke, but thank you anyway'. While visitors must respect their host cultures, cultural understanding is better achieved by being politely honest. It is a bit harder with alcohol at meal times when their is a new 'gambai' every thirty seconds. But essentially the same approach is best, though I do sometimes appeear to join in but cheat by puting water in my baijiu glass when no-one is looking! As a final thought, we teach our kids not to give in to peer pressure when pressed to do something they don't want to. I must live by that standard too even at the risk of occasionally offending my host... and I don't think I have done so yet :) |
| Dec 26, 2006 08:35 | #3 |
| Agree completely with the polite refusal and certainly not bowing to peer or cultural pressure. We need to respect each other in these matters too. It is a two way street. It's sometimes hard to get away from smokers in confined spaces but I find that most people if approached politely will oblige a request to not smoke or at least wait until after we've finished eating or go outside. Many of the younger generation are not taking up this unhealthy habit and I appreciate this most in the friends I have. Those who smoke ask if I mind and I usually meet them half way if we have finished eating. Outside it is not such an issue |
| Dec 26, 2006 15:19 | #4 |
| Heck, I just offered my hosts a cigar...in a "Hey, try one of these..." moves. ;) I always asked for permission to smoke (displaying a cigar) before lighting up. I found I smoked more infrequently in China because I did not go to any drinking establishments. While many modern vices (like smoking) have appeared since my first visit, problem drinking seems rare. I don't think I saw a drunk in either Shenyang or Beijing. I do not recall people smoking on my first trip. |
| Dec 29, 2006 09:32 | #5 |
| I have refused cigaretts or alcohol offered by my Chinese hosts many times. All you need to do is tell them that you do not smoke or drink in a nice and polite way. They are not so easily offended and they understand that not everybody smoke or drink. Like APAULT stated be politely honest. As good hosts they will try their best of offer you to smoke or drink. |
| Dec 29, 2006 21:41 | #6 |
| Declining another drink at a dinner, especially when it is in your honour, and there may be an uncountable number in your honour, is the biggest problem. When my ex employer felt he had had enough he would get his staff to take over 'honouring' us. It was his view, the custom I believe, that he was honour bound to get us drunk. If you refuse you are politely told it is Chinese custom.... and the pressure is applied. Griz, I am amazed you never saw drunkeness, but it is usually at the restaurant and it is generally quieter than we see at home. |
| Dec 30, 2006 06:09 | #7 |
| Quote "If you refuse you are politely told it is Chinese custom" I have been told this many a time by my Western colleagues and friends when they visist Taiwan or China and they leave the dinner piss drunk. This "custom" was not imposed on me or any of my Asian friends and collegues. Any Asian or local would like to comment and enlighten us? |
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