| Survival kit for Chinese new year | |
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| Feb 14, 2007 20:19 |   |
 | For many people, Chinese new year(CNY) can be a bit of an obstacle course. It almost seems as if everyone wants a piece of you. You can not do a simple pirouette without coming to stop in front of someone trying to sell you pineapple tarts; or coming face to face with a child with an expectant look in his eyes as he and his parents drop by to“say hello” (read collect a hongbao); or suffer the crushing crowds in Chinatown or worse, the million dollar question:“when are you getting married?” Put simply, you are exhausted just thinking about the two week period. What follows is a carefully crafted survival guide for the coming holidays. It is not foolproof. But it should at least take our a bit of the sting this season. |
| Feb 14, 2007 20:19 | #1 |
| 1. Decide if you are going to be in town at all during CNY. Each year, without fail , one of my uncles announces that he will be taking a driving vacation through the south of France and will be uncontactable. He then checks into a room service for two weeks. So if the thought of meeting all your relatives gives you the jitters, take a leaf out of his book and find a hide-out. 2. Hong bao are a fact of life. It is no use ranting against such time-honored tradition- so the sooner you accept it, the less stressed you will be. 3. If you are single, it is guaranteed that your relatives will ask you, as they grudgingly hand over hongbao, when you are getting married, .This year, tell them that you will get married as soon as they stop being so stingy with their hongbaos. Say this loudly in front of the entire family. Best case scenario: they will never ask you the same questions again. You will never be invited to future family reunions. Either way, it’s a win-win situation for you. 4. If you are married, it’s certain that your relatives will ask you when you are going to have children. Tell them you will have one as soon as they promise to help out with hospital, Childcare, tuition, dental, life insurance, lodging, food and clothing expenses till the kid turns 18. Refer to Survival Tip 3 for the possible outcomes. 5. If you are married and parent, there is not much you can do, except brace yourself for another long and expensive CNY. 6. Develop a mysterious throat condition that prevents you from speaking. So all you can do is smile apologetically as you collect your hongbao, park yourself by the buffet table and eat in blissful silence, while the rest of your vocally-able single cousins get the martial barrage. 7. Get engaged the week before CNY with a similarly desperate single friend and call it off the day after chap goh met( the 15th day of the lunar New year). 8. Worse comes to worst, just accept that CNY comes only once a year. Think of it as yearly scrape-and-clean appointment with the dentist. And besides, it is good mental training because coming up is Valentine’s day (tough if you are single). Your birthday, Christmas, and New year’s eve. At least with CNY, someone is actually give you money is exchange for a few well-meaning jibes about your marital and/or childbearing status. |
| Feb 14, 2007 21:55 | #2 |
| Well done Jie, the kit is interesting for someone to follow. |
| Feb 14, 2007 23:50 | #3 |
| Great tips! Is it really as bad as all that. I know some of what you say to be very true but I am not on the recieving end but I can empathize a little as there are similar pressures in other cultures althought these are not so common or overt any more. |
| Mar 27, 2007 21:50 | #4 |
| o, how could I miss such a great post~! Well done, Tomorrow` |
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