| Who pays for the meals? | |
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| Sep 30, 2007 03:54 |   |
 | Last night, my friend told me on the internet that he met an American exchange student who has recently come to China to study. Yesterday afternoon. She ran into her friend, and after they talked for a while her friend suggested that they dine out together. They went to a little restaurant nearby and they each had a bowl of noodles. After they finished the meal, her American friend asked her how much her bowl of noodles cost. She said that since the American friend was new in China, she decided to treat her American friend to dinner, so she gave the waitress money for both of their dinners. The American friend seemed surprised and not very happy and said she wanted to pay for her own dinner. She said they should " go Dutch". My friend felt that the experience is a little awkward and unpleasant. She asked why Americans always pay for their own meals. Another friend said that Westerners pay for themselves because their " ren qing wei bi jiao dan. ( I don't know exactly how to translate this into English-- it means something like Westerners don't emphasize relationships between people as much as Chinese do.) Is this true? Who pays for the meals when dining out with your friends? Do you always " go Dutch"? |
| Sep 30, 2007 03:59 | #1 |
| I do not go Dutch with my friends. My western friends go Dutch among themselves. |
| Sep 30, 2007 06:54 | #2 |
| I am Dutch, but among friends never go so. Although I can imagine abovementioned situation. Sometimes Chinese people keep insisting on paying because I am in 'their country' which means I never can return the generosity, because chances are they'll never visit my country. So if people pay for me a second time, I never let them (which sometimes needs a lot of persistence) |
| Sep 30, 2007 09:49 | #3 |
| When I met my (then) future lao po, she took me to a restaurant to eat. (Of course, I did not know where to go, so she took me there) I was quite amazed, when I noticed she asked bill. I insisted to pay and then she was amazed. After persuated she let me pay. When leaving hotel first time - to go eating - she opened me door, let me go into elevator first, opened me taxi door, paid taxi before I took money from my vallet. After paying the bill she asked me why I paid it. I told her I thought all was upside down in china compared to my country. Here men open doors to women, women go first into elevator and taxi. Man pays taxi. If man and woman go to eat, man pays, even if woman asks man to dinner. Time for her to be surprized, heh. When friends go eating together here, each pay their own meal, unless someone wants to pay all. Go Dutch, I don´t know what that means.... |
| Sep 30, 2007 16:38 | #4 |
| Going dutch is very common in western culture. when we go out with a friend for a meal we just pay our own share or pay half of the bill. Unless we invite them for special occasion, such as birthdays. |
| Sep 30, 2007 16:47 | #5 |
| We either split the bill equally or take turns buying. It all depends on the friends I am out with. The only time we every pay for our own meals is when one of the people at the table is known to have "short arms and deep pockets." I do not know if the Chinese have an expression for such a person, but it means that they try to take advantage of the other people at the table with them. |
| Oct 1, 2007 01:04 | #6 |
| If I'm out with a lady, I always pay for the meal, the only time I didn't pay when I was in China, was when I was the guest of my girlfriends brother in-law who is a successful business man. I have gone " Dutch " on occasions but it depends who I'm with at the time. |
| Oct 2, 2007 05:23 | #7 |
| yes i can imagine people can be quite 'confused' if you insist on paying, especially it's only acquaintances, and if you just ran into each other |
| Oct 3, 2007 18:00 | #8 |
| GUEST13121 | Actualy, it depends on where in America they are from. In the big cities in the north, "yankies" everybody is cold and distant from each other. In the south " Hillbillies" where I am from, people hold true to their warmth and hopitality and are closer in friends and family. People from the South here are very much like Chinese. |
| Oct 4, 2007 12:56 | #9 |
| >>>People from the South here are very much like Chinese. That is a very interesting observation. Having lived in the south for many years, I'll give it some thought. My instant reaction was incredulity, but on second thought...I decided to consider it. |
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