| Romance | |
|---|---|
| Oct 7, 2007 14:47 |   |
 | I am finding there are many differences between my Chinese girlfriend and myself. Obvious really and something I knew and partially understood. I was wondering if anyone can offer advice on dos and donts with regard to romancing a Chinese lady. For example are there subjects I should never talk about? any things I must remember and never forget? Should I send red roses every day?? or just every month?? |
| Oct 8, 2007 01:30 | #1 |
| I'm like yourself Dave, I would like to spoill my lady with gifts but I think she is more than happy knowing I love her so much, once we are together I intend to treat her to a good time. As for do's and don'ts, when I was in China last year I made a few mistakes like wanting to hold hands and kiss in public, this I'm told made her feel uncomfortable because she was worried what Chinese men would think, for some reason she felt more comfortable when we went to Beijing and she was happy to hold hands as we walked around, my friend Nina had told me before this might happen because my girlfriend was more traditional, I respect her wishes because I want her to feel comfortable with me. |
| Oct 8, 2007 02:06 | #2 |
| Dave, I guess that you must be very rich. To send her roses everyday costs too much. I would go broke if I did it. I agree with Alan. Just show your true heart to her and let ler know that you love her. That is ok. Do not try to spoil her with gifts and flowers. Enjoy your time with her, Dave. |
| Oct 8, 2007 04:19 | #3 |
| Davec, The difference between you and your girlfriend is the reflection of cultural differences. So you'd better learn more about Chinese culture. Study for your lady. It is worthwhile. |
| Oct 8, 2007 09:24 | #4 |
| There are no "subjects should never talk about", Dave. There are subjects she wants to talk about and others she don´t want to talk about, as well as You and me and everyone else have so. All is compromising between two people. and, there may be subjects that must be talked about whether like it or not. I have found many things that have made my lao po feel uncomfortable. One is stopping in the middle of pavement and kissing her and saying wo ai ni. No quarrel became, but I felt necessary to apologise after understanding the situation. Never know without trying or asking. Nevertheless, there are subjects I insist to be talked about althought she doesn´t like it, because I feel they are important. Some other, I let them be. |
| Oct 8, 2007 16:14 | #5 |
| I avoid saying 我愛你 because it is too easy to say and too easy to make valueless. My hope is that my gal understands my actions as a display of deep caring. I do not remember being this happy for this long ever before. I do not want to jinx myself by using the "L" word! How far apart are you and your gal, Dave? Do you get to see her often? If you do, remember that little things mean a lot. |
| Oct 8, 2007 16:35 | #6 |
| I live in UK she lives in China. At best I can only see her twice a year at the moment as my company dont like me having much time off. My plans are to move to China in maybe 2 years time. The reason I posted this thread is that although I understand we will have cultural differences some of them I really dont understand and need explanations. She is traditional and wont hold hands in public and definately no kissing, this took me some time to get used to as in the west we are more open with our emotions. I have been learning to speak Chinese on and off for a few years and I have keen interest in Chinese history. I take every opportunity to learn about the culture from my teacher and Chinese friends. As for the roses I was only joking. I have sent her 12 red roses once and it cost a fortune. But they arrived at her place of work and made her feel extra special infront of her co workers. |
| Oct 9, 2007 01:13 | #7 |
| Hat's off to you then Dave, I'm very much in the same boat as you, in my job I only get 20 days holiday a year and even then I'm not supposed to take them all at once. My company know I plan to get married soon, so I'm sure they will turn a blind eye this time, they will not want to risk losing me because I am one of their most reliable employees. |
| Oct 9, 2007 06:03 | #8 |
| My Girl, now my Wife was more than happy to hold my hand in public at her demand. I was a bit nervous about doing this at first. It was however in Bejing where it is a bit more Cosmopolitan. Those little things do mean a lot..to both of us as we wait to be together. And yes, I have used the L word and she to me. Perhaps we are both blessed? Dodger |
| Oct 9, 2007 09:19 | #9 |
| And may you and your wife remain happy and blessed Dodger, good luck to you mate. Alan |
| Oct 9, 2007 11:03 | #10 |
| L word - ssshhhhh!!! To say or not to say,that´s the question. Say it or don´t, both is wrong? Remind me about a joke I heard sometimes: Wife: Don´t You love me any more? Man: Shut up, I´ll tell You if I stop loving You. Carlos By the way, am I only one who´s waiting for his wife to move? |
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