| Can love melt away cultural differences? | |
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| Dec 16, 2007 21:38 |   |
 | For many times on this forum, I have read the similar thought: love can conquer all. I know love is very powerful. The power of love works on many occasions. Well, the cross-cultural marriage has a lot of realistic problems to deall with. Cultural difference is big hindrance for a happy cross-cultural marriage. Certainly, there are many people who have overcome the stumbling-stone on the way to a happy cross-cultural marriage. However, some coupled fell in their effort to make a happy cross-cultural marriage. Here are some questions for us to ponder on: Will you fall in love with a foreigner? Will you accept a foreigner's love? Will you marry him/her? Do you think that you will surely solve the problem of culture difference as long as you love each other?If your parents disagree with this knid of love what will u say to them ? If anyone here have some successful experiences in solving the cultural differences in a cross-cultural marriage, can you share your successful tips with us here. Any opionions on this issue are welcome! Can love melt away cultural differences? |
| Dec 16, 2007 23:29 | #1 |
| What is love? What is culture? These terms are so broad and I think misunderstood, so the question becomes unanswerable. She says, 'Do you love me?. He says 'Yes of cousre I do'. She says 'Tell me you love me' He says 'I love you'. Well of course he did!! Even with the best intentions in the world, what else could he say? Should he say 'NO'? of course he can't. This 'love' might just be politeness Or, perhaps the are in the early stages of the cat and mouse game that we must play, what he probably meant in that short dialogue was, 'I will say anything you like if it means I can get into your bed.' This 'love' is actually lust. Another example. One says 'Don't leave me. I love you, I can't live without you.' Is this 'love' ? I think it is just selfishness. Instead if that person says 'I don't want you to leave me, I'll be lost without you. BUT if that is what will make YOU happy, then please leave me'. THAT is love. Now about culture. Ah no, let's leave that for another time!! |
| Dec 17, 2007 01:08 | #2 |
| Love certainly melts the difference for me, I will embrace my wifes culture as I'm sure she will mine. And yes I'm very very happy. Alan |
| Dec 17, 2007 09:54 | #3 |
| Love is love. We can´t find love, it finds us (if finds). It has got nothing to do with culture or races. Love is a feeling that makes us do whatever it makes us do. It is not rational. In fact, not much point to think about it. It is a simple thing, why make it difficult by analyzing it? And answers: 1. I already did. 2. I already did 3. I already did 4. I am her lao gong, she is my lao po, I love her, she loves me (=she says she loves me and I feel she does). If there will be any cultural problems, I am sure loving each other will help solving them. 5. I could not care less what other people think about me loving my Qiong. Paul, You were quite cynical this time. Too much analyzing melts love, heh. Carlos |
| Dec 17, 2007 16:03 | #4 |
| Love is not all of that mushy stuff; nor is it all of that steamy lust stuff...although it is good for a relationship if there are generous portions of each of them. Love is nothing more than getting up every morning determined to be kind and thoughtful to your wife, to be dedicated to your responsibilities and carefree enough that you remain playful with your mate despite the problems life presents. Cultural differences cannot influence a person who is determined to perservere. |
| Dec 17, 2007 19:57 | #5 |
| Loved how you defined love, Carlos. ^_^ Q: Will you fall in love with a foreigner? A: Yes Q: Will you accept a foreigner's love? A: Yes Q: Will you marry him/her? A: Yes Q: Do you think that you will surely solve the problem of culture difference as long as you love each other? A: There will always be differences whether cultural or not. Each individual is unique. If there is enough love, there will be understanding, openness, support and compromise. Q: If your parents disagree with this kind of love what will u say to them? A: I am so sure that my parents will not disagree with this kind of love that I can bet my life on it. They know I am an adult and they treat me as such. If you say you love a person but in fact you do not, that’s not love. That’s a lie, plain and simple. You ask if love can melt away cultural differences. Love answers, “What cultural differences?” ^_^” “Fear says, "Put me in a house with a roof and locks on my door and I will believe I am safe for a moment." When you are loving, you are under the open sky and possibilities are infinite. There are no guarantees. From the viewpoint of fear none are strong enough. From the view point of love, none are necessary.” |
| Dec 18, 2007 01:03 | #6 |
| Shesgottobe, good point, I like it. |
| Dec 18, 2007 16:55 | #7 |
| I have a Chinese girlfriend, I love her and she loves me, yes we plan to marry and be together but at the moment we live in different countries. As for love melting away our differences I dont think so, we are who we are and will have to adapt and change a little but it will be slow. Patience will be the key. |
| Dec 18, 2007 20:05 | #8 |
| It changes as time goes by. When two lovers are in love, ( I mean before engagement or marriage) cultural differences seems to melt away. After marrige, life becomes very practical and realistic. Two people who have different cultural background are hard to merge together. Diference in ways of thinking and behaving as well as in the social customs lead to the inevitable frictions. Two people sharing common cultures have this kind of problem, not to mention two persons from different cultural environment. |
| Dec 19, 2007 11:23 | #9 |
| Iceblue, Yes, you are right ," After marriage, life becomes very practical and realistic." You are wise in this field, may be have practical experiences. But--- Love is love , has no physical demarcation, combined with intellectual factor, that may over come every thing, not only practical and realistic life. |
| Dec 22, 2007 23:15 | #10 |
| Can love Melt away Cultural differences.... I hope not!!! We should celebrate our differences, especially in our loved ones. We just need to show consideration and respect in areas that we differ. This is true of any relationships. Even two people raised in the same cultural environment can have extremely different views. That is the beauty of humanity. We should exert our energy on understanding those differences rather then changing them. Well, that is my view :-) |
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