| House before marriage? | |
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| Jan 5, 2008 02:01 |   |
 | Hey whats up, I know there has been at least 2 threads on the subject but I never found a reason to why a Chinese female would demand to have her own home before accepting to marrying a guy. After a realization of how one of my aunts did the same thing, I found that she was the most likable and loved by my late grandmother and everybody else in the family, of which she is the ONLY one out of 12. I would like to hear a womans opinion why she or a female would demand to have her own house before marriage. |
| Jan 5, 2008 23:58 | #1 |
| After marriage, don’t you two have to live somewhere? Shelter is one of the basic human needs. Even during the Stone Age, you would have needed a cave. LOL! By the way, I am not Chinese and I have my own house so my opinion is probably useless. :-P |
| Jan 6, 2008 01:31 | #2 |
| Well I do understand that you would have to live somewhere after getting married but why couldn't it be an apartment or even under the same house as lets say my mother. I always had a thought that the reason why a bride would want her own home was that she wouldn't have to live under the same roof as her mother in law and under her judgmental eye because it seems that Chinese mother in laws never run short of criticisms of there daughter in laws or at least in my own experiences with my own Grandma and her views of my aunts and my own mother. |
| Jan 6, 2008 22:54 | #3 |
| Heh. You got it pretty well, Destruckdoz. ^_^ Of course, you can opt to rent. In America (and I would imagine everywhere else), monthly rental payments are most of the time the same (sometimes even higher) as monthly mortgage amortization. For many people I know, unless their stay in a place is something temporary, they’d rather buy than rent since the cost is about the same. Rent, you would have to put a deposit. Buy, you would have to put a downpayment. Sometimes you don’t even have to and there’s some security and stability about knowing that you own your place. |
| Jan 7, 2008 03:02 | #4 |
| I agree, Buying vs Renting is much more beneficial than to line someone else's pocket with money. Yet there are many roadblocks to many who want to buy a home such as credit history or collateral. |
| Jan 7, 2008 18:29 | #5 |
| LOL! So, buying a house is not the only problem. Normally, if you are buying a house, you don’t need collateral because the house itself serves as the collateral. There is a way to go around it if one of you has a bad credit. Let the spouse with the good credit history apply for the home loan. By the way, they check credit history too if you are going to rent an apartment. I get a kick out of this TV commercial jingle about checking your credit history. I know this jingle is a bit controversial but I believe both parties are guilty of this. ^_^ Well, I married my dream girl I married my dream girl But she didn't tell me her credit was bad. So now, instead of living in a pleasant suburb We're living in the basement at her mom and dad's. No! We can't get a loan for a respectable home Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card If we'd gone to freecreditreport.com I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard. ^_^ |
| Jan 7, 2008 21:30 | #6 |
| Quote: >>I always had a thought that the reason why a bride would want her own home was that she wouldn't have to live under the same roof as her mother in law and under her judgmental eye because it seems that Chinese mother in laws never run short of criticisms of there daughter in laws<< DESTRUCKDOZ , This is a question of " the relationship between daughter in law and mother in law". In China, we have a saying:" the relation between daughter and mother in law is the most difficult relation to cope with." So it is a good way for them to live under the different eaves. No matter how close the relation between a daughter in law and mother in law is, the mother in law will never treat his son's wife(daughter in law) in the way she treats her own daughter. Vice versa. This might be the "narrowness' " or "selfishness" of " blood tie". It is very possible to trigger domestic conflicts if the bride and her mother in law live under the same roof. Why not give their each freedom to live in separate apparments? Certainly, it is costly to buy an apparment for each. |
| Jan 8, 2008 00:05 | #7 |
| I actually got pretty good credit and my own place but if you live where I live, good credit will not get you very far. Thanks for the reply Leonardo, I think I heard something a long those lines from my aunt. |
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