| Are U looking for a mate? | |
|---|---|
| Jan 5, 2008 13:50 |   |
| guestevans | Are u looking for a mate? How do u plan to look for a mate? Do u have some characteristics that u look for in a mate? beauty? sexy? Are u willing to change for your lover? Should your lover change for u? is it possible to love an ugly girl or boy? do u believe in true love? What is love? What is true love? Love without lust, possible? |
| Jan 7, 2008 21:38 | #1 |
 | Wow, you raised a lot of questions, GUESTEVANS. My criteria for my future girl is quite simple, not too beautiful but not ugly. She should have long black hair. Moreover, she must be kind, considerate and loyal. Is it hard to find a girl like the one I described? I don't know. To answer your second question, I'd like to change myself for my lover, but not to be another guy. I mean that I will overcome some shortcomings. Third question, personally, I don't think that it is necessary to require your lover to change for you. If you love him or her, you should also accept his or her shortcomings and weaknesses. Everyone is not pefect. It is stupid to make your lover be a guy or girl that you don't know. Otherwise, he or she might leave you. Of course, if he or she loves you, he/she will try his/her best to overcome his/her shortcomings and weaknesses. I believe in true love. But what does true love mean? Sometimes, love is very simple. If he/she can accompany you till the end of your life, that is true love. Love without lust, possible? I don't know. Perhaps, other members will give you the answer. |
| Jan 9, 2008 02:02 | #2 |
| A very good answer Jimmy. I wouldn't worry too much about her looks because she is in your eyes she the most beautiful, and that is what counts. Alan |
| Jan 9, 2008 03:18 | #3 |
| Thanks, Alan. I just wrote what I thought. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know this sentence has been repeated many times on this forum. But it is really true. |
| Jan 9, 2008 03:35 | #4 |
| But still so true Jimmy. Dodger. |
| Jan 14, 2008 19:46 | #5 |
| Well, why don't you give your answer, Dodger? I am eager to know what you think about this. |
| Jan 14, 2008 20:33 | #6 |
| Jimmy, Not sure that I have ever been out there with a shopping list to find a Mate. Sure, initial attraction is important but there does need to be more than just that. Would I change or want to change the girl? I have seen people try to change and remodel those that they have met. I think it may be an ego driven thing and stem from under confidence in the controller. And why would you want love without lust any way. Between two people who love each other it is a great way of communicating at the physical level and as long as no one is doing anything that they are uncomfortable with, certainly more healthy than just sitting and watching TV all night.. Since time began people have been trying to analyze what “love” and “true love” is. Perhaps it should just be approached with the KISS principle. Dodger. |
| Jan 15, 2008 03:38 | #7 |
| Dear Dodger, thanks for your answer. Quote: Would I change or want to change the girl? I have seen people try to change and remodel those that they have met. I think it may be an ego driven thing and stem from under confidence in the controller. I don't want to be a controller. Nor would I prefer a female controller as my girl. As a Chinese saying goes, mountains and rivers are easy to change but it is hard to change the hearts of humans. If you force him or her to change, your marriage might be on alert. |
| Jan 15, 2008 10:24 | #8 |
| For once I see a significant cultural difference between China and the west. Generally we do not go out looking for a mate. Instead we go out with friends, we have bfs and gfs. We go to parties together, to the cinema, the beach or just hang out. Sometimes the initial attraction fades and we go our separate ways. Often there are tears, but we have enjoyed ourselves and one of us at least realised that the relationship didnt offer what we wanted in the long term, maybe 60 years these days. Somewhere along the way we meet someone and the 'chemistry is right' and we stick, usually by getting in married. In China young people seem to expect to find their 'Mr or Miss Right' in some magical way, without trial and error. Look at all the fun they are missing!. Hey Jimmy...Go Out! Don't be like old farts like me with nothing better to do who sit here pontificating in TCG, get out thrrr and chase the chicks! You are good looking and they will be queing up! I don't mean it too personally Jimmy, because it applies to so many. We are only young once, so enjoy it. Get a MIXED group together, hire a KTV room and do what young people are supposed to do! Or get a group together and set off to a country spot for a picnic. Magic! As for love and lust - I know what lust is :) :) But love, much harder for me ... Love is something u give. |
| Jan 15, 2008 18:57 | #9 |
| Are u looking for a mate? A: Actively, no. But I know that he is out there somewhere and I will meet him eventually. How do u plan to look for a mate? A: I…. don’t have any plan. How does one plan for that? O_o Do u have some characteristics that u look for in a mate? A: One who can tolerate my sappy, corny music collection and bishounen-filled anime collection. >_< Seriously, one who will love me for me, not his illusion of me. One who will stay true. One who can communicate because it is very basic in a relationship. Are u willing to change for your lover? A: I can’t even change myself for myself. *sigh* Should your lover change for u? A: He needn’t change anything because once I meet and get to know him; I’d know he’s already perfect for me. Ahhh!!! There I go again! @_@ is it possible to love an ugly girl or boy? A: Sure, why not? do u believe in true love? What is true love? A: Suddenly, I’m not too sure about this. Isn’t love supposed to be always true? If it is fake, is it still called love? What is love? A: On a personal level, a very powerful emotion of endearment, empathy, respect, compassion, tolerance, acceptance and the desire for the well-being for oneself and his/her beloved. On a collective level, could probably end world wars, hunger, prejudice and greed if majority of mankind would have the same emotion for everyone. Love without lust, possible? A: My understanding is that love and lust are two different things. Love with lust, love without lust and lust without love are all possible. |
| Jan 15, 2008 19:50 | #10 |
| Quote: In China young people seem to expect to find their 'Mr or Miss Right' in some magical way, without trial and error. Look at all the fun they are missing!. Hey Jimmy...Go Out! Don't be like old farts like me with nothing better to do who sit here pontificating in TCG, get out thrrr and chase the chicks! You are good looking and they will be queing up! I don't mean it too personally Jimmy, because it applies to so many. We are only young once, so enjoy it. Get a MIXED group together, hire a KTV room and do what young people are supposed to do! Or get a group together and set off to a country spot for a picnic. Magic! "expect to find their 'Mr or Miss Right' in some magical way, without trial and error." Maybe they believe in karma. He or she is somewhere. When the time is ripe, he or she will appear in front of her/him. Magical? Yes. Paul, thanks for your encouraging words. But I am not good at singing and I don't like going to some noisy places. Picnic is a good idea. Forget to say, my avatar is Jay Chou, not myself. |
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