| Young Chinese generation becomes unfilial today! | |
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| Mar 4, 2008 01:21 |   |
 | Today, more and more young guys leave their homes to seek jobs and settle down outside. However, their old parents still live where their children grow up. These young guys seldom come back home because they are busy with their work. To support their parents, they just give their parents money instead of taking care of them. They don't know that their parents don't need their money. They just hope their children can come back home often because they feel very lonely. Measuring with filial piety principle, all of them fail to be filial children because they don't take the responsiblity of taking care of their parents. An article from Newsweek has revealed this problem deeply. Title: China’s New Empty Nest Author: Melinda Liu Although they live in a nation of 1.3 billion people, Wu Shaoqiu and his wife are lonely. Their son now lives in Canada, their daughter in France. "We need to have someone stay and talk with us from time to time," says Wu, 75, a retired bureaucrat from China's Hubei province. In 2006 he spotted an ad in the local paper, offering to introduce empty-nesters to adult women willing to be "adopted." Wu liked an executive named Fang Fang and brought her home to meet his wife. "She brought a bunch of flowers … she called me 'Papa' and my wife 'Mummy'," Wu says. Fang Fang soon joined the family—and introduced two other women whom the elderly couple took in as well. On weekends and holidays all three women, who are in their 40s and married, visit the couple to cook and clean, and maybe play cards or surf the Web. "I consider them my real daughters now," Wu says. Family is the bedrock of Chinese society, at least in theory. But three decades of gut-wrenching change are testing those old bonds. More kids than ever are leaving their hometowns—even the country—in search of jobs. This generation is the first to grow up under the one-child policy, rolled out in 1979. They are "more likely to be spoiled and self-centered," says demographics expert Cai Feng. "As adults, children of this generation lack the inclination to support their parents." Forty-two percent of Chinese families in 2005 consisted of an old couple living alone, according to the National Bureau of Statistics. |
| Mar 4, 2008 01:24 | #1 |
| Continuing That's causing even young parents to rethink the meaning of family in China. For centuries a healthy brood of boys was considered the best form of social security. That's still generally true in the countryside; farmers prefer sons who can work in the fields over a daughter whose earning potential—if any—is transferred to her husband's family. But in China's cities, many young couples now say they prize daughters over sons for their loyalty. "Urban couples all think girls are much better than boys. Girls are more thoughtful, especially towards their parents," says Feng Xiaotian, a sociology professor at Nanjing University who has conducted surveys of Chinese families. In a recent China Youth Daily poll, respondents who preferred a daughter (29 percent) edged out those who wanted a son (28.4 percent). Others are hoping to increase the odds against abandonment in creative (and sometimes illegal) ways. Some wealthier urbanites simply ignore the one-child policy and pay a fine for having an extra kid. Others give birth abroad, or pretend their first child was born handicapped (a loophole that allows them to have another legally). Some cases have become public scandals, like that of the Communist Party apparatchik who kept six mistresses and had a child with each one, or the entrepreneur in Liaoning province who married, bore a child with and then divorced three successive "wives" in order to have more children. Last week senior family-planning official Zhao Baige said Beijing may phase out the one-child policy, although she couldn't say "at what time, or how." The regime knows official efforts alone cannot support the aging population. Since workers used to be covered by pensions from their state-owned companies—the "iron rice bowl"—the government has built no real social safety net. Going into a nursing home is still considered vaguely shameful. The China National Committee on Aging recently unveiled a plan to establish a nationwide home-care system by 2010, but simply finding enough facilities and trained nurses will be hard. Authorities are trying to educate young Chinese about the need to care for their parents. The Education Ministry has supported a resurgence of Confucian studies, which promote respect for elders. "It's important to have family education, school education and social education [on this issue]," says Wu Changping, an expert on population and aging at Renmin University. Some government agencies now even grade employees on filial piety when considering promotions. |
| Mar 4, 2008 01:24 | #2 |
| Wu Shaoqiu admits his solution isn't for everyone. Another Hubei couple tried something similar. Former construction expert Tian Zhendong and his wife felt "lonely and lost" after their only son immigrated to Canada. They visited him there but couldn't adapt to life in the West. Back home, Tian put out an ad titled "Elderly couple desperately seeking daughter." "We're not looking for a maid, but someone to be with us until we're dead," Tian said. To his surprise, 100 applications poured in. But the couple had to call off their talent search when their son objected. Apparently, not everyone is ready for the new Chinese family. What do you think of Young Chinese generation? Are they unfilial? |
| Mar 4, 2008 10:48 | #3 |
| These young people are doing what they need to do based on the new, progress-driven China. Do not judge them too harshly. This issue may be the single most important one facing China as it continues down the path of a progress-driven nation. I saw what happened here in the USA and did not like the results. Perhaps China will be more successful and reach a better social end. |
| Mar 4, 2008 19:08 | #4 |
| “Forty-two percent of Chinese families in 2005 consisted of an old couple living alone, according to the National Bureau of Statistics.” 42% is a huge number of old couples living alone based on China's population. How many would that be in hard number? I am not Chinese, but if staying with one’s parents is the standard for being filial, then I am one of the unfilial children for being 8,300 miles away from them. I visit them every year though because I promised to my mother I would. ^_^ |
| Mar 6, 2008 19:20 | #5 |
| SHESGOTTOBE, that is what we call cultural difference. In foreign countries, parents have the responsibility to raise their children to their 18s. After 18, they should be responsible for themselves. Usually, they don't leave under the same roof with their parents. But in China, it is totally different. Parents take their whole life to take care of their children, supporting them to go to school, buying them houses for marriage, looking after their grandchildren etc. And the children have the responsibility to support their parents when they grow old. If you send your parents to the nursing home, you are regarded as being unfilial. It is also a shame to your parents because they are abandoned in other people's eyes. |
| Mar 6, 2008 22:07 | #6 |
| Yep, you're right, JimmyB. However, I may be in America but I am still an Asian so my culture is not so different than yours. In fact, we are alike. We have a close-knit family too. The only difference is ours is 'less stressful' probably. If you know what I mean. ^_^ |
| Mar 7, 2008 00:43 | #7 |
| "The only difference is ours is 'less stressful' probably. If you know what I mean. ^_^ " SHESGOTTOBE, I can understand it. Chinese parents care their children too much and want to take care of them from cradle to grave. They would save money by eating simply, buying very ordinary clothes etc. However, they become very generous when giving their money to their children for buying houses and getting married. What's more, they all hope their son can marry a good girl or their daughter can marry a good husband so that they interfere in their children's marriage. However, they ignore that they can't take care of their children forever. When they are gone, their children have too learn to take care of themselves. So, why not let them learn to be independent earlier? |
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