| What do you think of " December Love"? | |
|---|---|
| Jun 2, 2008 04:14 |   |
 | Did you westerners say " December Love" when somebody who is old remarry another one after he lost his/her spouse? How do western Children handle " the December love of their parents? In China, a country with conventional culture embedding in everybody's mind, Children would feel very embarrassed if the parents remarry when they are 50s-70s. A piece of news from internet said: "a 70-year-old man was isolated and alienated by his Children after he married the cousin of his daughter-in-law. The old man lost his wife in his 60s, he was in love with his daughter-in-law's cousin and got married. His children objected the marriage and isolated him from other family members. His children felt embarrassed and lost face. What do you think of " December Love"? |
| Jun 2, 2008 08:47 | #1 |
| My philosophy is "each to their own". But yes, I imagine that children would have a difficult time(mentally) adjusting to their new step--mother. Culture peer pressure? |
| Jun 2, 2008 20:08 | #2 |
| In a country with a long history of feudal ideology, Confucianism has been rooted in people's mind. Despite China has become open to western culture, ideologically, China is still somewhat closed. Confucianism adovocates fidelity. Remarriage is viewed as a shameful thing. That's why Children felt embarrassed. When parents have " December love", their children would worry about the rumor. In western countries, marriage seems to be free to everyone no matter how old you are. |
| Jun 3, 2008 07:03 | #3 |
| But it is interesting to see just how freely this younger generation are entering and exiting multiple marriages. Such hypocrisy from so many. What's the problem. Many of their parents have live in loveless marriages for decades. Aren't the also entitle to a little love and pleasure after the death of a spouse. Sure it will take some adjustments but they are not insurmountable. |
| Jun 3, 2008 20:50 | #4 |
| Yes, Jabarootoo. Many of the Chinese parents lived in loveless marriages for decades. Arranged marriages caused lots of loveless marriage. A popular Chinese TV series The Chinese-style Divorce illustrate the theme well. Parents tried their best to maintain an intact family for the sake of their children. When the children became adult, they divorced and tried to find their new love.It is a tragedy for the whole generation of old Chinese. |
| Jun 5, 2008 04:56 | #5 |
| Why is the late marriage called " December Love" ? Is it idiomatic? Do you have any anecdotes or folklores behind the expression? |
| Jun 5, 2008 21:24 | #6 |
| I don't see what's wrong with it and why the children should be shameful. What is so shameful about it? I would think if the children love their parents, they would want their parents to be happy. |
| Jun 6, 2008 05:42 | #7 |
| It is called a December marriage because December is the last month of the year i.e. the year is almost over and it is the beginning of winter when all the seasonal plants have lost their leaves. Everything is dead or almost dead. A late marriage is near the last year of life, near death. So yes, it is idiomatic. I think there is nothing wrong with December marriages. Love should be embraced when and where we find it. It is cruel to think that a person who has lost his/her spouse, or perhaps never married, should live out his/her last years alone. |
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