Study: men prefer being solo over a bad marriage

Study: men prefer being solo over a bad marriage
Jun 25, 2008 01:42
BLUESKY001 Points: Join Date: Nov 9, 2007 Status: offline	Do you know why some smart and successful men choose to stay single?The Bachelor Carl Weisman did a research on that question. The study shows that men prefer being solo over a bad marriage. (Source: yahoo.com) A news report from yahoo. SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage. Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties. He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage. "Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview. "This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures." The release of his book "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men -- and women -- to tie the knot. Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent. AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence. Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided. But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person. "It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.

Jun 25, 2008 01:42

BLUESKY001
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Do you know why some smart and successful men choose to stay single?The Bachelor Carl Weisman did a research on that question. The study shows that men prefer being solo over a bad marriage.

(Source: yahoo.com) A news report from yahoo.

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.

Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.

He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

The release of his book "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men -- and women -- to tie the knot.

Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.

AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.

Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.

But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

"It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.

Jun 25, 2008 01:42

BLUESKY001
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Join Date: Nov 9, 2007
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Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment.

"Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.

"While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them."

Weisman said his research blew away any idea that single men were unhappy.

"A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life," he said. "They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married."

For him, researching the book made him also look at himself -- and he ended up living with a girlfriend for the first time.

"Now we're looking at getting married. As I researched the book I found I was looking at men 10 years older than me and it was like looking into the future. If I didn't change, nothing would," he said.

Jun 25, 2008 20:41	#2
ICEBLUE Points: Join Date: Aug 30, 2007 Status: Offline	I don't know who prefers a bad marriage over being solo. A useless study. Nobody prefers a bad marriage over being solo. Women prefer being solo over a bad marriage too.

Jun 25, 2008 20:54	#3
SHESGOTTOBE Points: Join Date: Nov 23, 2007 Status: Offline	I was just going to say the same thing, Iceblue. You beat me to it. ^_^ One of my friends said, it is better to be single and free than to be trapped miserably married.

Sep 18, 2008 17:42

ALOSTDIAMOND
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Join Date: Sep 18, 2008
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And people need to do a study for that?
what waste of resources...
any men (or women i think) prefer to be solo than have a bad marriage...is just common sense.

People afraid to make mistakes will never learn from life...
i did my mistakes and i hope these ones will make me avoid do same ones in the next opportunities and occasions....

but i think that if you marry somebody is because you love her/him.....if there is good will...and people really wants to know each other..the chances to have a good marriage are high. Marriage is compromise, is to try to keep the "flame" on all the days like was the first one.....is to discover every day something wonderful in your partner you did not noticed before....is to try to reach an agreement over the things without trying to eclipse the will of the other....
to try to be reasonable and sometimes to eat your own proud (because you are in front of the person you love).....
if you marry if for stay better (both) and not for stay worst. Life is hard often....but depends so much of the mood you face all the days with.

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