Some advice.

Some advice.
Jul 26, 2008 19:50
DAVEC Points: Join Date: Apr 14, 2007 Status: offline	I thought I would offer some worldy advice to my fellow readers. In no particular order..... 1, Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference. 2, Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak. 3, A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. 4, Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view. 5, Dont use the toilet at home, use it at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it. 6, Taxi drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so it may as well look like one.

Jul 26, 2008 19:50

DAVEC
Points:
Join Date: Apr 14, 2007
Status: offline

I thought I would offer some worldy advice to my fellow readers.
In no particular order.....

1, Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know
the difference.

2, Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

3, A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

4, Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.

5, Dont use the toilet at home, use it at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

6, Taxi drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before
starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so
it may as well look like one.

Jul 26, 2008 23:43	#1
APAULT Points: Join Date: Mar 11, 2006 Status: Offline	Great ideas Dave. I especially like the first one.

Jul 27, 2008 09:20	#2
WESTNORWOODGAS Points: Join Date: Jun 22, 2007 Status: Offline	Very good Dave, I have to go out to toilet paper, you have now solved that problem, if only I can hang on until tomorrow, he he Alan

Jul 27, 2008 18:28	#3
MARRIE Points: Join Date: Jan 7, 2008 Status: Offline	# 1 I like substitute meat - substitue chick, duck, steak, sausage,etc. Cooked substitute meat is sold with higher price than real one in Chinese supermarket. #5 good ideas. Nobody notices where office supplies or misc. supplies go-small money. however, if working in toilet papaer producer, guys, be careful coz this is assets.

Jul 27, 2008 20:49	#4
JCNILE123 Points: Join Date: Mar 30, 2006 Status: Offline	#5 it is, a blast...LOL

Jul 28, 2008 17:38

DAVEC
Points:
Join Date: Apr 14, 2007
Status: Offline

7, Housewives. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid
for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the
other in your coat pocket..

8, Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fastwipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

9, Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on Boxing Day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

Post a Reply to: Some advice.