| Is the vow a must to marriage? | |
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| Oct 17, 2008 02:22 |   |
 | I have a couple of questions. Where do you hold your wedding ceremony? In the movies, all westerners seem to hold their wedding ceremonies at Church. Is the vow a must to marriage. What were you thinking about when the priest said the following words? //XXX, do you take this woman, XXX ,to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together in the estate of matrimony!Will you love her honor her ,comfort her and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others ,be true to her as long as your both shall live?// |
| Oct 17, 2008 03:21 | #1 |
| Getting married in a church is a religious ceremony and the vows should be understood and strictly adhered to. Theoretically the participants should practising members of that religion and church. However, In the west it is most girls dreams to have a fairytale wedding in a pretty dress in a church where she can be a princess and centre of attention for a day. More often than not the wedding will be the only day that they ever set foot in the building. In the UK churches have relaxed the rules governing who they will marry owing the money that they can make in charges for the ceremony, the falling numbers in their congregation, and the falling number of couples getting married. In answer to your question, I'm sure some couples who share a belief in that religion are very moved by the vows they take and understand the true meaning, but many simply say the words with little thought about the meaning and probably more thought about the following reception/party |
| Oct 17, 2008 05:02 | #2 |
| That is a very good answer Gaffer, I haven't been back to the Church where I got married in, this was my first marriage and was mixed religion, I'm Church of England and my ex was Catholic, we used to go to the Catholic church after and my daughter was christened there. Alan |
| Oct 17, 2008 06:59 | #3 |
| In America, a ceremony isn't always performed in a church, but when it is, vows are almost always involved. Although GAFFER is certainly correct in saying that many vows are spoken without any understanding or little thought to their meaning, in this day and age where divorce is so rampant, I believe vows - whether done in the ceremony or privately - are more important than ever! If you don't plan on staying with that person for the rest of your life, taking care of them when they are sick, and being faithful only to them...why get married? Why sign a contract if you don't plan on honoring it? I sat my wife down before we got married, before our wedding, and looked her in the eye and told her that I will not cheat on her and I will not divorce her. Some people may laugh and tell me its a dream, I'm too young to really understand the complexities of marriage, but I know it's possible and I am resolved to honor that promise. During our wedding the only reason I said the vows was to show my wife that I was willing to make that statement public and put my reputation on the line for the sake of our relationship. Guess you'll just have to check with me 10 years down the road to see if I've still kept that promise. 4 happy years and counting... |
| Oct 19, 2008 15:26 | #4 |
| Good morning IceBlue, Vows are part of the wedding ceremony especially in religious ones. The more important thing to consider is this. In America 50-60% of marriages end in divorce in 4-7 years. This tells you how much the Vows are adhered to. It also tells you that it is not the Vows that keeps a couple together but it's the couple who keep themselves together. Marriage is a give and give relationship. If BOTH partners give and give, that is the glue that binds them. I hope this helps you understand a little more. |
| Oct 19, 2008 17:13 | #5 |
| In China, marriage is more like a builders' project. Wife and Husband make efferts together to raise more excellent children than neighbors' and build a better family than neighbors'. Sounds boring, er? |
| Oct 20, 2008 22:15 | #6 |
| I agree with REMAG1234. "It is not the Vows that keeps a couple together but it's the couple who keep themselves together." Love is not what you say to your partner but what you can do for your partner. The vows are just words. |
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