What to do

What to do
Jan 31, 2009 18:05
guest18425	It's a long story but i'll condense it. in the beginning of 08, i met a girl that worked next door to me. She worked at a chinese seafood restaurant and i at a coffee shop. She was the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. I would see her day to day just because of our location being next to each other. She wasn't easy to take out. She told me no twice before accepting my offer. Finally, we started spending time with each other. She was mysterious, i didn't know what to think of her and i was cautious of what questions i asked. Basically her story was that she was about to be 21. She was originally from fuzhou, china, where she was raised by her grandmother, then moved to the states when she was 8-9 yrs old. She worked in the restaurant for her parents and had to drop out of high school in 11th grade because school and the demand of work was too much. She moved from state to state working. Her mother had a friend in my hometown that needed a girl to work the front of the restaurant and translate for her. So she agreed to come here and work for the lady we call ma. She came, we met, i fell in love but my girlfriends' feelings weren't as strong (for whatever reason) She said she loved me, but not as much. Time went by, and we spent it doing all sorts of stuff. I actually lived with ma, and my girlfriend behind the restaurant for about 4-5 months. We both had a great time and i believe she started having stronger feelings for me. but business slowed for them, plus the gambling problem ma had, caused the business to dwindle into being sold. Supposedly, ma had owed my girlfriend a large amount of money which was to be paid to her mother. Being nervous about what to do, my girlfriend said she had no option but to follow ma until she was able to pay her back. She left me and went with ma. A few days later her mom called her and told her she needed to come back home to new york. So now she is in New York. She said she told her parents about me but they won't allow it. The say that there is no good ending between fuzhou people and american because the lifestyle is so different. I'm really having a hard time with this. I know that this is the girl i want to be with. She is everything to me, and i would marry her in a heartbeat. love her, and respect her. All of this is new to me, the chinese culture - i have learned a lot. I never caught her in a lie, but i feel as though there is a lot that she is not telling me for whatever reason. i don't believe she used me because i really was not able to offer much being just a cashier at a coffee shop. She tells me her family is giving her a really hard time about this. basically making her choose between me and them. she has been gone for about 10 days now and its not getting easier for me. she is starting to not call me as much. she told me she loves me, that she would be back to me. but it seems as though we are drifting apart. What can i do?

Jan 31, 2009 18:05

guest18425

It's a long story but i'll condense it. in the beginning of 08, i met a girl that worked next door to me. She worked at a chinese seafood restaurant and i at a coffee shop. She was the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. I would see her day to day just because of our location being next to each other. She wasn't easy to take out. She told me no twice before accepting my offer. Finally, we started spending time with each other. She was mysterious, i didn't know what to think of her and i was cautious of what questions i asked. Basically her story was that she was about to be 21. She was originally from fuzhou, china, where she was raised by her grandmother, then moved to the states when she was 8-9 yrs old. She worked in the restaurant for her parents and had to drop out of high school in 11th grade because school and the demand of work was too much. She moved from state to state working. Her mother had a friend in my hometown that needed a girl to work the front of the restaurant and translate for her. So she agreed to come here and work for the lady we call ma. She came, we met, i fell in love but my girlfriends' feelings weren't as strong (for whatever reason) She said she loved me, but not as much. Time went by, and we spent it doing all sorts of stuff. I actually lived with ma, and my girlfriend behind the restaurant for about 4-5 months. We both had a great time and i believe she started having stronger feelings for me. but business slowed for them, plus the gambling problem ma had, caused the business to dwindle into being sold. Supposedly, ma had owed my girlfriend a large amount of money which was to be paid to her mother. Being nervous about what to do, my girlfriend said she had no option but to follow ma until she was able to pay her back. She left me and went with ma. A few days later her mom called her and told her she needed to come back home to new york. So now she is in New York. She said she told her parents about me but they won't allow it. The say that there is no good ending between fuzhou people and american because the lifestyle is so different. I'm really having a hard time with this. I know that this is the girl i want to be with. She is everything to me, and i would marry her in a heartbeat. love her, and respect her. All of this is new to me, the chinese culture - i have learned a lot. I never caught her in a lie, but i feel as though there is a lot that she is not telling me for whatever reason. i don't believe she used me because i really was not able to offer much being just a cashier at a coffee shop. She tells me her family is giving her a really hard time about this. basically making her choose between me and them. she has been gone for about 10 days now and its not getting easier for me. she is starting to not call me as much. she told me she loves me, that she would be back to me. but it seems as though we are drifting apart. What can i do?

Feb 1, 2009 05:14

SHESGOTTOBE
Points:
Join Date: Nov 23, 2007
Status: Offline

Family is very important to Chinese and Asians in general. It means the world to them. This is an attraction and at the same time, a scary proposition for many foreign men. In Asia, you are not marrying a person; you are marrying the whole family. I cannot say anything about her feelings towards you. You’re in a better position to gauge that. Why not move to New York to be near her? Who knows, maybe better opportunities await you there? It will also be a good opportunity to meet her family. Be a man and put yourself out there for your lady. I’m just saying that if things are so hard for her and if you really love her with all your heart, you will move heaven and earth just to be with her. If things still do not work out, at least you did your best and you will have no regrets, don’t you think?

Feb 5, 2009 02:39	#2
A4ABILITY Points: Join Date: Feb 4, 2009 Status: Offline	well,shesgottobe just said what i wanted to say, if she is really the one for you,she's gotto be,right? just take a step forward and see what happens.. good luck ! :)

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