Blueyankee gets mail!!

Blueyankee gets mail!!
Apr 2, 2009 03:35
DODGER Points: Join Date: Jul 15, 2007 Status: offline	Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not too sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send, your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Your Favorite Aunt, Mom Dodger.

Apr 2, 2009 03:35

DODGER
Points:
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Status: offline

Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not too sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send, your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom
Dodger.

Apr 2, 2009 12:16	#1
CARLOS Points: Join Date: Sep 10, 2007 Status: Offline	Again, this went right to my twisted mind. LOL!!! Carlos

Apr 2, 2009 14:50	#2
WESTNORWOODGAS Points: Join Date: Jun 22, 2007 Status: Offline	Now that really made me laugh Dodger, poor BY he he Alan

Apr 7, 2009 07:47

SETH
Points:
Join Date: Feb 22, 2008
Status: Offline

So there are these 3 fourth grade boys in the school playground, a redneck, an Italian, and and Irishman. They are bored and looking for something to do.

The Italian boys says "Let's see who is bigger in the manliness department!" (Trying to stay within the bounds of civility here!)

They all agree. The Irish boy is fairly well-endowed, but the Italian fellow has him beat by a little. However, the redneck is clearly the winner, being larger by a lot!

At home, the redneck's mother asks "How was school today?"

He says "We had a contest to see who was bigger in manliness, and I won! Is that because I'm a redneck?"

His mother pats him on the head and says "No son. It's because you are 25 years old!"

Apr 7, 2009 08:01	#4
DODGER Points: Join Date: Jul 15, 2007 Status: Offline	OK, I'll pay that one...LOL Dodger.

May 22, 2009 06:12

JOSHIRV57
Points:
Join Date: Oct 9, 2008
Status: Offline

Its really good to find you all here.Though perhaps not all are well. Of course,there is not one mature person among you,which is a crime,in itself.Its a shame,you can not better you yourselves and go to a forum,which would not be acceptable to the abuses which you offer so
freely against other people.Its a shame that this site,accepts your off color behavior,which is
supposedly against the sites rules,but still regarded as good. If you went to a real forum,you would no longer exist.

May 22, 2009 07:52	#6
CARLOS Points: Join Date: Sep 10, 2007 Status: Offline	BY, seems like you forgot to take your medication today. Just lean back and enjoy being a international celebrity. Carlos

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