URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
Jul 17, 2009 03:31
DODGER Points: Join Date: Jul 15, 2007 Status: offline	A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale epicentered on Glasgow. Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz shttin' masel", "Ah need some jellies". The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused: Many were woken well before their giro arrived. * Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged. * Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed. * The cone fell off the head of the statue outside the Modern Art Gallery. * Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow. * One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning." * Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. * The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses. * Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos. HOW YOU CAN HELP Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Sovvy rings - Baseball caps - Shell suits - Tesco two stripe trainers - White socks - Chunky gold chains Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include: - Faggots and Buckfast - Grey Peas and Buckfast - Pork Scratchings and Buckfast - Tripe and Onions and Buckfast - "Pigs Blood Pud" and Buckfast - Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast * £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four. * £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles. * 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim. Please send your credit card number to…..….. Dodger.

Jul 17, 2009 03:31

DODGER
Points:
Join Date: Jul 15, 2007
Status: offline

A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale epicentered on Glasgow.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz sh*ttin' masel", "Ah need some jellies".

The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused:

* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.
* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.
* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside the Modern Art Gallery.
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow.
* One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:
- Sovvy rings
- Baseball caps
- Shell suits
- Tesco two stripe trainers
- White socks
- Chunky gold chains

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:

- Faggots and Buckfast
- Grey Peas and Buckfast
- Pork Scratchings and Buckfast
- Tripe and Onions and Buckfast
- "Pigs Blood Pud" and Buckfast
- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast

* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.

Please send your credit card number to…..…..
Dodger.

Jul 18, 2009 10:27	#1
WESTNORWOODGAS Points: Join Date: Jun 22, 2007 Status: Offline	Och aye that was funny wee Dodger. Alan

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