Are you marriage phobic?

Are you marriage phobic?
Jul 11, 2010 23:02
LONELYJOURNEY Points: Join Date: Oct 28, 2009 Status: offline	"In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.”---New York Times. "Blind date TV shows are becoming particularly popular in China, and many TV series about marriage or relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have also received extremely high ratings. However, a large number of youth are afraid of marriage, and this marriage phobia is spreading in society.”---People’s Daily People in the US and China seem to have the same problem---suffering from marriage phobic. Are you marriage phobic? If so, why are you afraid of getting married? Here are some guy’s reasons. No. 1 I am enjoying my freedom. "Marriage means that there will be another person who interferes in your life. You have to report everything to her and your life will be controlled by her. I’ve been out of my mother’s control for a while. Why should I shackle myself with marriage?”---A guy who has stable income and good friends said. No.2 I am enjoying love but I don’t want to get married. "I have a boyfriend. We both enjoy love but we are so afraid that such wonderful life will disappear after we get married.”---Lily said. "Marriage is not your and your lover’s business. It is about two families. After marriage, you will have to deal with different kinds of relationships. Love might gradually fade.”---A female white collar said. No.3 Marriage is too complicated. "Marriage is too complicated. Single life is good. Getting married doesn’t mean that you will live happily. After seeing his friends’ failure in marriage, I’ve made up my mind that I will never get married.”---A man named Mike said. Analysis: To his understanding, marriage is totally different. He feels unsafe because of marriage uncertainty. Meanwhile, he is unwilling to sacrifice his happy single-life.

Jul 11, 2010 23:02

LONELYJOURNEY
Points:
Join Date: Oct 28, 2009
Status: offline

"In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.”---New York Times.

"Blind date TV shows are becoming particularly popular in China, and many TV series about marriage or relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have also received extremely high ratings. However, a large number of youth are afraid of marriage, and this marriage phobia is spreading in society.”---People’s Daily

People in the US and China seem to have the same problem---suffering from marriage phobic. Are you marriage phobic? If so, why are you afraid of getting married?

Here are some guy’s reasons.

No. 1 I am enjoying my freedom.
"Marriage means that there will be another person who interferes in your life. You have to report everything to her and your life will be controlled by her. I’ve been out of my mother’s control for a while. Why should I shackle myself with marriage?”---A guy who has stable income and good friends said.

No.2 I am enjoying love but I don’t want to get married.
"I have a boyfriend. We both enjoy love but we are so afraid that such wonderful life will disappear after we get married.”---Lily said.

"Marriage is not your and your lover’s business. It is about two families. After marriage, you will have to deal with different kinds of relationships. Love might gradually fade.”---A female white collar said.

No.3 Marriage is too complicated.
"Marriage is too complicated. Single life is good. Getting married doesn’t mean that you will live happily. After seeing his friends’ failure in marriage, I’ve made up my mind that I will never get married.”---A man named Mike said.

Analysis: To his understanding, marriage is totally different. He feels unsafe because of marriage uncertainty. Meanwhile, he is unwilling to sacrifice his happy single-life.

Jul 11, 2010 23:03

LONELYJOURNEY
Points:
Join Date: Oct 28, 2009
Status: Offline

No.4 Parents’ failure in marriage
"In my childhood, my dad and my mom quarreled very frequently. Family violence also occurred. I fear of getting married. I am afraid that I can’t have a happy marriage life.”---Cathy, a pretty girl who works in an international corporation said.

No.5 They always take things as they come.
They also wish to get married. But their Mr. Right hasn’t appeared. They are tired of seeking their Mr. Right, just waiting him to appear. And they accept their status of single ladies. In other words, they believe in destiny. Someday, they will meet their Mr. Right and then they will get married.

No.6 “Put quality before quantity.”
Mom: “Marriage is a big thing. Just think about it. You are not a young girl now.”
Me: “Yes, it is a big thing, a very important thing. I will think about all my life.”

Such girls believe in love but they have strict requirements on their future husbands. They won’t easily lower their requirements.

"Don’t force yourself to accept false love and get married. Just follow your heart and do whatever you like. There are much more important things than marriage. Learn to enjoy your life, not just make a living. Make yourself happy and satisfied but don’t give up. Live for yourself. ”---A girl said.

Aug 1, 2010 03:32

GUEST5641

Are you marriage phobic?

Yes. I am not prepared to get married yet. I am single right now. I am afraid of losing my freedom. Once you get married, you will never be free until your kid grows up as a young man. You need to support your family, educate your kid and look after your parents and parents-in-law. Right, you have to pay back the loan for buying the apartment. Iife won't be as easy as right now.

Aug 1, 2010 04:32	#3
GUESTETHAN	They are all reasonable. Mine is about marriage uncertainty, I am afraid of marriage because I am too serious about it.

Aug 4, 2010 03:07	#4
DAPHNEB Points: Join Date: Jul 13, 2010 Status: Offline	Not that bad, find one you trust to get married. The future always brings change, so have a good day 'today'.

Aug 4, 2010 21:38	#5
KUNGFUPANDA Points: Join Date: Aug 12, 2008 Status: Offline	GUEST5641, Getting married, having kids, supporting your family and then raising your kid until he/she grows up, all of these are responsibilities. You don't want to lose your freedom. Are you afraid of burdening the responsibilities? To complete your tasks, you have to work hard no matter how hard it is and how much pressure you will burden.

Aug 10, 2010 15:57

ETHANINCHINA
Points:
Join Date: Aug 10, 2010
Status: Offline

I am marriage phobic, I love my freedom.

However, why do people want to marry? What can marriage give you that no marriage cannot? it's not stable as the rising divorce rates clearly show. The only reason i can see anyone getting married is to have a kid as in China you must but I'm from Canada and even if i wanted a child, I don't, I can have one anytime.

So why would someone want to get married?! Costs money, costs time, costs trouble and gain.... nothing.

Aug 10, 2010 20:38

CHARLOTT
Points:
Join Date: Aug 14, 2008
Status: Offline

Quote:

Originally Posted by ETHANINCHINA

So why would someone want to get married?! Costs money, costs time, costs trouble and gain.... nothing.

Here is a piece of Chinese saying: 不孝有三无后为大. Although it is very old, it still has great impact on Chinese people. The English version is as follow:

There are three major offenses against filial piety: do not support parents when they are alive, do not give them a decent Burial upon their death, and do not produce an heir, the last of which is the gravest offense.

Aug 10, 2010 23:06	#8
ETHANINCHINA Points: Join Date: Aug 10, 2010 Status: Offline	Yeah, seems just an issue of tradition. I'm not a traditional person so I guess that's why I don't think it's useful.

Aug 16, 2010 04:24	#9
JIMMYB Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	I have to admit that I am marriage phobic too. Why? I think that I have been spoiled by my parents. They have done what they could for me, raising me and supporting me to finish my college education. Now they care about my marriage. I couldn't imagine what will happen if they leave me. I am an adult but I am not mature psychologically. I am not prepared to take the responsibility.

Aug 18, 2010 23:09	#10
NANCYMOON Points: Join Date: Jun 19, 2010 Status: Offline	marriage at its end grown into a habit.That is a romance that left innocent foolish world of their immature romance.

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