western man marrying chinese woman in america on work visa questions on living toeather
Dec 30, 2010 20:54
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ok found chinese woman stateside wooohooo.
dated and courted and marriage a deffinite after her divorce that is in progress is done.

we been sexual but havent lived togeather .....she kept saying need more time.well i think she is moving in tomarrow..december 31 at 10pm to celebrate new year and start to live togeather..

i been searching for info on when couples like us first few weeks what is like and what to watch for and how to ease her into cohabitation.

today she work 12hrs and i got no responce from a text i sent she wont call till midnight is this normal....

any advice is appreciated..

she wants to keep working 7 days a week at 12hr days no time for us except at night and before work is this expectable....i know chinese are hard workers but what about the relationship is that important..will i be able to get her to work less?

can i expect her to pitch in with bills....

she does seem like a spoiled princess is this the norm...she told me if i dident buy new bedding she woudent move in because its ugly so bought 122.00 sheets..lets hear from you what do you think why so many marry chinese but cant find info on how the first three weeks of living togeather went
Dec 30, 2010 21:01
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i have given her cash to help with lawyers,,new laptop computer, let her learn to drive my sports car and motorcycle, promised to buy her car, given many small gifts and obey her every whim but she is kurt with me and stalling to live togeather....

why is she scared to live toeather.....
Dec 30, 2010 21:18
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she oly been in america 3 years she from south peking.....she 36 im 38...she is living with her female boss her sister and 5 other coworkers....

she has two kids in china 17girl 10boy and ado0ped 9girl
she x husband is chinese and has big home.

she working as massage girl in spa in florida..
customers swarm to her instead of other i wasent ever a customer i met her on a dating site i sent my phone number she called we met and now togeather engaged

yes i asked her parents and got their blessing.....

she is average looking.....only highschool no trade skills just learning massage now...has bad scars on arms...little un toned but weighs only 107lbs
her hands and feet verry worn...face shows age has wrinkles,still to me she an angel of she should be.

i only mention for you to gauge what the situation is....

me i am not rich and have steady income nice place,show car,show motorcycle, and tons of hih tech gadgets
Dec 31, 2010 09:01
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Here is what upsets me.....I waited 24 hrs before I heard from her.....she calls and talks for ten minutes then says she wants to talk to her sister she will call me back........I wait and wait no morning I send two texts ......I get no response.......I try to answer........I wait and call again finally she picks up...........

She said when I called before she was in the bathroom........I ask why no call back like she said....she say time late think you was sleeping...

Then she says I want to eat bread ....if I have time later I will call you..............witch she never does call...

I ask her if she pack to move in tonight she say umm...........

So I don't know what she is thinking.....very upsetting to me she dont respect me to call or keep in touch..........

And why is she stalling to move in? We have been sexual already a few times, showered together, and cuddled naked together so why is she soo weird acting?

I think she will miss living with all Chinese women....and her this why?

Also she is trying to get me to change already....she says mom wants me to make more money so to buy big house....

So everything is up in the air to she will move in tonight on new years or weather she will make an excuse........

What should I do.....

I want her to move in bad because I never see her otherwise .......seems like lately only see her 1-2 hr morning every other day or worse.
Jan 2, 2011 11:48
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Ok. She moved in on dec31 at 10 pm 1-1-2011.

Happy new year....within five minutes of new year I was in the dog house....she very mad at me because we were with her coworkers all Chinese women and one said great now I'm a year older.......and I said won't feel bad my woman is 42....she my old lady I'm only 38.......

It was wrong because I embarrassed her,,,,she is only 36 but her drivers liscence say 42 because to get here from china company makes documents to show your older because america is harder on visas to younger people...

After her friends left I ....said I was very sort, I think I know what I did wrong,,,,,I said about the age,,,,,she looked at me and said in sad voice,,,,,,Chinese man never say.........

Again I said I was sorry and I would learn as to not do again......shortly after she forgave me and we were ok again......

She barely has any clothes and no paperwork, so when she moved in it's just a small suitcase of few clothes and few wash supplies.

She's a very light sleeper last night she got upset because I involuntary sniffed once and it woke her up......

Also she said want tiny I got a teacup chiwowa she has no clue to be nice to dog and seems scared of it.....she freezes when it comes walking at her....she taps ter finger hard on the dogs nose ......and gets mad when dog cries....the dog is 2 lbs very sweet don't bite and is very loving,,,,,,,,what should I it good for her to learn how to be nice to dog?
Jan 2, 2011 20:40
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Toooo complicated. She seems very weird. You two have been engaged. If she has feelings toward you, she will call you frequently. Why does she refuse to answer your calls? Being busy with her work is no excuse.
Jan 3, 2011 00:44
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I know a lot of Chinese women, and have never met one who would not instantly open and answer a text message immediately, so your girlfriend is certainly an exception to the rule.

You say she works as a masseuse. Have you ever visited the spar where she works?
You say her age on her driving license states 42.
What does it say on her passport?

From what I read, I think you are being had.
Good luck. Dodger.
Jan 3, 2011 11:32
GUEST78203 Yes I visit her work alt lately I bring her and pick her up.....

I see at work she leaves her cell phone anywhere...and I see it ring and she no answer....I check it regularly and never found anything suspicious....she is indeed loyal to me as far as me being the only guy...

She does not act like normal 36 yr woman......she not into testing at all I see her friends and family and she don't text them either.

If she not busy and she hears phone she will answer for me...

But I don't hear from here all day long only when I pick her up....

She is warming up some......she does lve me..I dont doubt it..anymore..

I'm more concerned on teaching her and learning how to make her happy......

And I really want to know how far I can push the two issues.......
Her spending more time with me
And her helping financially

Any suggestions

This month. Had to pay all the regular bills and I'm supposed to buy air fair and hotel and rental car for 5 days..... I won't be able to pay for everything....just don't have it ........she probably going to get pissed....

But since we met I paid everything...... It is expensive pleasing her.
Any regular American girl would not got 25% of what I gave her....

So I feel she thinks Americans rich still and think farrytale ending........I don't think she really understands the USA economy is bad and everything is expensive and most average Americans barley live paycheck to paycheck and all Americans have to work together in order to pay all the bills.....

I am stable paying all my bills like
Cell phone
Internet service
Car insurance
Motorcycle insurance
Health club membership
Atnt data plan for iPad
And food.
And toiletries...

But adding in extra eating out at expensive places...
Extra gas to from to from work 2 round trips a day
All the gifts .....I'm just being burried
Jan 3, 2011 14:43
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ok more info for you......

yes i surprise vivit her work often and i check her phone text and calls often never i find anything to worry me she ggood girl

she no text anyone.....she no like to text

as for calls she no hover over phone she very laid back....

i do know she loves me but she worries me because i big baby....want lots attention and time...

what i want to know now please......

how far can i push issues.....of her spending more time and her helping with finances..

i pay lot bills and cant keep afford to live lifestyle she think americans have

i pay
cell phone
car payment
car insurence
motorcycle insurence
health club membership
cell phones
child support large ammount
household supplies
and food

plus lately.....taking her out to eat very much......buying her gifts....extra gas money to drive to her work 2 round trips per day......and this month im expected to buy airfair hotel and rental car for week in california for her to show up in immigration court for no reason other than she required to be present with her lawyer for trying to get asylum fied....witch i dont think i have enough monies to do....

what will she think when i say im broke can you help?

she seems to be spoiled woman with no idea most americans live paycheck to paycheck and usually both man and woman work and pay bills togeather...

im a great guy,very loving,and kind,and extreemly generous but i cant give what i dont have....

shes already talking about new car for her.....and bigger home...and more clothes....

im barely paying bills now so what do i do.....

she must be making atleast $1,800.00 usd a month, i asked her the other day to borrow 10.00usd so i could eat because i was broke and dident et paid till next day.....she said yes but wouldent give it to me.....

she is getting love,english lessons,driving lessons,a nice home in great neighborhood, learning computers, and eating at resteraunts, and some entertainment,and full massages,lots of pampering,marriage to get greencard,wedding and honeymoon in bahamas,and allowed to take my sports car to work when she finishes learning how to drive.

im getting,,some love,very few chinese lessons,i cant think of anything else right now i havent even got a massage yet and thats what she is doing for work....!!

i know when i look at what i wrote.....seems im really going the distance for her but why?
she is ok looking but there is flaws so she is no model just average girl...not very eduicated....and not very affectionate or aware of courting eddicate

so why the hell am i stressing over trying to make her such a queen...and keep giving without recieving much in it because im hoping she will slowly start to give me and us what we need and want? is it because im really hoping this will work out and we will be togeather forever and not just till she gets greencard?

call a psyciatrist...i need help
Jan 4, 2011 00:22
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she must be making atleast $1,800.00 usd a month, i asked her the other day to borrow 10.00usd so i could eat because i was broke and dident et paid till next day.....she said yes but wouldent give it to me.....

I am surprised. You are already engaged with her. She never paid the bills? If I were you, I would have dumped her as soon as possible.

You spend all your money on her but she was too mean to give 10 USD to you. I can't understand why you chose such a woman to be your wife.

Wake up! It is not to late.

What if you lost your job? I guess that she will get divorced.
Last edited by JIMMYB: Jan 4, 2011 00:25
Jan 4, 2011 04:56
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I think this is a wind up :) Is it April 1st already?
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