TOMMY COOPER LIVES AGAIN.

TOMMY COOPER LIVES AGAIN.
Mar 21, 2011 20:41
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: offline	A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!! I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Bollocks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. "What's the matter?" I asked. "I've got the big C,"he said. "What, cancer?" "No, dyslexia." I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week, all the forms will be printed in English. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'. On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'

Mar 21, 2011 20:41

BOBERT
Points:
Join Date: Jan 1, 2009
Status: offline

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Bollocks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week, all the forms will be printed in English.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'

Mar 22, 2011 05:54	#1
LARRYBOY Points: Join Date: Apr 10, 2009 Status: Offline	Sounds more like Henny Youngman

Mar 23, 2011 14:21

WESTNORWOODGAS
Points:
Join Date: Jun 22, 2007
Status: Offline

Quote:

Originally Posted by BOBERT

Not bad Bobert, I only read the cemetery joke yesterday on Facebook not that I hadn't heard it before, I will have to go back to the archives to restore a few more golden oldies.
Alan

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