| Recommend an article to you. It's about Andy Murray | |
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| Jun 27, 2011 02:41 |   |
 | Many British people hope that Andy Murray win at the Wimbledon because it has been 75 years since British people won the Wimbledon grand slam. But one man doesn't think so. He doesn't want Murray to win the champion. Nadal or Federer are better candidates for him. He has listed five reasons: His gob 'At rest’ Murray’s mouth is perfectly normal. However, once a crucial point is won it defies the limitations of human physicality as the jaw seemingly dislocates and the roar bellows from a misshapen, elongated orifice that resembles a mangled bear-trap. I’m positive I once saw a long-dead woodland creature tumble out during the Australian Open.  |
Last edited by KEVIN0518: Jun 27, 2011 02:43 | |
| Jun 27, 2011 02:42 | #1 |
| His mum When infamous cupboard hound Boris Becker questions your family values then something must be afoot. ‘Boom Boom’ pointed out this week that you don’t see the mothers of Nadal, Federer or Djokovic following their grown-up sons around at work all day and wondered whether it was healthy for poor, harassed Andy. Ever-present in the family box and forever lurking in the background for interviews Judy is like a cross between Lady Macbeth with highlights and that creepy woman from Sorry. We’ve all seen the tennis dads – completely deranged and one more belt-lash away from a restraining order – so is it sexism that makes Judy so goddamn frightening above all others? A gaze permanently set to ‘steely’ certainly doesn’t help her cause. Granted she’s a huge improvement on Henman’s father who always appeared to be scowling over a missing section from that morning’s Telegraph and wondering if the paper boy from the council estate was to blame. |
| Jun 27, 2011 02:42 | #2 |
| The fans The hatred I feel towards British tennis fans is usually reserved for genocidal dictators and Gary Neville. A typical Wimbledon crowd is a Richard Curtis wet dream and their anodyne chants, pantomime boos, and face-punchingly annoying habit of lining up in t-shirts that spell out A-N-D-Y is sanitised fun reminiscent of Huxley’s Brave New World. If a selective – and perfectly justified – apocalypse befell Murray Mount the only loss would be a downturn in ticket sales for Coldplay’s next tour. Which can only be a good thing. |
| Jun 27, 2011 02:42 | #3 |
| Pride in our glorious failure If Andy Murray fails to hold aloft the rather lovely gilt cup this year it will be our seventy-fifth anniversary since we last boasted a Wimbledon champion. Considering we annually host the greatest, most prestigious, tennis tournament in the world that’s some achievement. But instead of donning sack cloths and beating ourselves up we’re looking at this all wrong. It’s an achievement we should justifiably be very proud of because it sums up who we are. Us Brits put on the best parties around then leave it to the loud-mouthed Yanks to show off on the karaoke whilst we stand in the kitchen looking cool as f***. It’s the event in which we excel at, not the participants. At Prince William’s recent nuptials were we proud of the bunch of inbreds and racists waving from the balcony to the watching world? No, it was the pomp and ceremony. The splendour and majesty of the spectacle, the likes of which no other country could ever dream of matching. The individuals on view were merely window dressing. |
| Jun 27, 2011 02:43 | #4 |
| To avoid the ugly Scottish/British debate I like Scots. They provide me with entertainment as I walk down the street with their garbled requests for spare change. Should Murray win however they’ll understandably become a little possessive over their prized Braveheart of the baseline and kick-start a predictable and thoroughly tiresome tug-o-war over his true nationality. Is he Scottish or British? Can’t the lad be both? In an ideal world we’d all feel proud of Murray; only the Scots a little more so. Sadly his triumph will spawn an acre of broadsheet chin-stroking, SNP point-scoring, and a resurrection of a debate that’s as dull and irrelevant as the sporting success that caused it. |
| Jun 28, 2011 02:39 | #5 |
| As long as Djokovic, Nadal and Federer are still there, it is very hard for Murray to win the Wimbledon Title. What I can not bear is his "His gob". Does he think that he is playing football? |
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