Depressed foreigner at work

Depressed foreigner at work
Aug 20, 2011 05:59
guest38122	Hi I want to share a personal experience so do not be offended as I want advice on what I should do.I work as a English teacher at a school where I am the only foreigner.When I came almost a year ago most colleagues were cold towards me, they had a caucasion teacher for a number of years&I am Asian dark skin&proud but they often took a discriminating attitude towards me trust me I know when someone or in my case some people are judging me. In the work environment, I respect, treat people well and never flaunt what I have, I can be annoying but I am in China so I have learned to adjust my behaviour so that I don't make anyone feel bad&try to be a good person. I don't smoke, drink, party or show off, I am actually a very laid back, friendly person my hobby is exploring nature boring to some but to me I love it. My team consists of females&from day one they have gossiped, backstabbed, made fun of&made racist remarks but I am here to do a job&was hoping true friendships would form but it makes me feel sad that even after a year they still are the same if not worse but incredibily two faced. One minute they want to befriend me the next they dump me in the middle of no where as they know I do not know the city or speak Chinese&then laugh about it that I was stranded, now I know it was just a case of using a foreign face to get what they want. A few days ago I found out that one of the new female teachers who said hates me has spread nasty rumours,basically a new male teacher has become good friends with me he is 10 years my junior,we talk about cars,sports,Yao Ming&for some reason this female has made up very nasty evil rumours which have spread like wild fire.I heard that the team I work with hate me, the way I look, they think I am stupid &want a 'good looking caucasion male teacher' to look at&want me to leave as I am not a foreigner in their eyes.Three girls in particular who I have helped so much,financially,emotionally&given gifts to all the time just because I am nice person for nothing in return are the ones who talk bad about me,mock my appearance,hate my colour&want me to leave. I thought one of them was my friend but she turned out to be the one spreading nasty rumours about many things. So I want to know what is their problem, I do get treated differently from causcasions in China but I have also met some amazing people. I am upset that this group who I have to work with feel this way after everything I have done for them and yet in my heart I feel no ill feelings towards them because I wouldn't gain anthing. I left my country, friends&family to come to China, yet I find myself depressed and I am too stubborn to leave because I love my job, I adore the children I work with and most of all I learn from China. Any advice on what am I doing wrong&have I done something that I should change. Maybe I don't look foreign but hand on heart I will never hurt anyone in China because this country has given me so much that I am grateful.

Aug 20, 2011 05:59

guest38122

Hi I want to share a personal experience so do not be offended as I want advice on what I should do.I work as a English teacher at a school where I am the only foreigner.When I came almost a year ago most colleagues were cold towards me, they had a caucasion teacher for a number of years&I am Asian dark skin&proud but they often took a discriminating attitude towards me trust me I know when someone or in my case some people are judging me. In the work environment, I respect, treat people well and never flaunt what I have, I can be annoying but I am in China so I have learned to adjust my behaviour so that I don't make anyone feel bad&try to be a good person.
I don't smoke, drink, party or show off, I am actually a very laid back, friendly person my hobby is exploring nature boring to some but to me I love it.

My team consists of females&from day one they have gossiped, backstabbed, made fun of&made racist remarks but I am here to do a job&was hoping true friendships would form but it makes me feel sad that even after a year they still are the same if not worse but incredibily two faced.
One minute they want to befriend me the next they dump me in the middle of no where as they know I do not know the city or speak Chinese&then laugh about it that I was stranded, now I know it was just a case of using a foreign face to get what they want.
A few days ago I found out that one of the new female teachers who said hates me has spread nasty rumours,basically a new male teacher has become good friends with me he is 10 years my junior,we talk about cars,sports,Yao Ming&for some reason this female has made up very nasty evil rumours which have spread like wild fire.I heard that the team I work with hate me, the way I look, they think I am stupid &want a 'good looking caucasion male teacher' to look at&want me to leave as I am not a foreigner in their eyes.Three girls in particular who I have helped so much,financially,emotionally&given gifts to all the time just because I am nice person for nothing in return are the ones who talk bad about me,mock my appearance,hate my colour&want me to leave. I thought one of them was my friend but she turned out to be the one spreading nasty rumours about many things. So I want to know what is their problem, I do get treated differently from causcasions in China but I have also met some amazing people.
I am upset that this group who I have to work with feel this way after everything I have done for them and yet in my heart I feel no ill feelings towards them because I wouldn't gain anthing. I left my country, friends&family to come to China, yet I find myself depressed and I am too stubborn to leave because I love my job, I adore the children I work with and most of all I learn from China.
Any advice on what am I doing wrong&have I done something that I should change. Maybe I don't look foreign but hand on heart I will never hurt anyone in China because this country has given me so much that I am grateful.

Aug 20, 2011 23:43	#1
GUEST19140	Question: if you speak no Chinese, how do you know all you think they say about you?

Aug 21, 2011 01:18

GUESTDEOPRES...

Good point Guest 19140, in the office we all share their are two assistants who are not part of our team. They both are friendly with me although one is very quiet and an introvert. However only one of the assistants' talks to me in English because she is too shy too speak in front of others which is why I know what I know.
Miss introvert has been avoiding coming into the office recently and I knew something was wrong and after a lot of probing she confessed to what she has heard over the last few months. She has even taped their conversations because she feels so strongly about it and wants to go to the schools leaders but I don't want her to do that. I have copies of the recordings and played some of them to my friend who speaks both languages and he was enraged which proves that the information I have is not fabricated but confirms what I have been told is true.

Aug 21, 2011 05:14	#3
GUEST87137	GUEST38122,see,there are many misunderstandings that could be mistakely 'created' because of different cultures.You know,sometimes the ways of chinese's speaking and acting could be very confusing but no harmless at all.So do not take it personal.:) Good luck. Lucy

Aug 22, 2011 15:14	#4
GUEST19140	You either complain to your supervisor or quit and look for another job. As an English teacher with certificates and diplomas, you can find another good job almost anywhere you choose in China. Next time don't be such a "nice" guy. Women like to roll over nice guys like a steam roller.

Aug 23, 2011 06:16

FARAH
Points:
Join Date: May 7, 2010
Status: Offline

Guest 381, You are working in an environment that is hostile. As a teacher you have very good qualifications to get better position with another employer. It is unfortunate that you have fallen into a low level employment category, with some who are just starting from the bottom. It will always be a fight to the top and because of jealousy and fear, by your counterparts, it is a rememberance for you in grade school days. Separate yourself from these small minded immature people. If you feel you have a great future at this place, then you know that you must adjust to your perfection for which you were hired for. It is your Boss that you work for not the low level street people.
If you feel there is no future at this company, then with your qualifications you should have no problem finding another job.
Fear minded people will always gossip and that is their only false sense of protection. You are better than that Guest381, dont lower yourself to their sub-par standards. I wish you the best. Farah

Feb 25, 2013 20:31	#6
GUEST14762	You need to get some bai jiu mao tai and get em' drunk. Drink them under the table and you will be treated with respect. Since you are not a drinker you will need to be strategic, dumping your shots out without anyone noticing or filling your shots with water and toasting. I would however suggest you build a tolerance for a week or two before engaging them. Gam Bei!

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