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Chinese girls: why do you prefer to control the purse strings in family?
Aug 22, 2011 22:50
guestAmedeo I am a European. Six months ago, I got married with my Chinese girlfriend and settled down in China. I thought our marriage life would be happy when I got married. But it wasn’t. My wife asked me to give my salary bank card to her just after two weeks since we got married. I asked why and she just said most Chinese girls controlled the purse strings in their families after they got married. I didn’t say a word. She added “you should do it if you really love me”. Then I gave my salary bank card to her because I really LOVE her.

Well, this isn’t enough. She told me that she would give a certain amount of money to me every month to meet my ‘daily needs’ including lunch and transport expenditure. How could she treat me like a child?

She isn’t the girl I had known before we got married. I am going mad. What am I gonna to do? I want to know whether all Chinese girls prefer to control the purse strings in family.
Aug 23, 2011 05:40
#1  
GUEST19140 The answer is no, not all Chinese girls want to control the family finances.

If you are uncomfortable with her approach, have a serious talk with her, or else...

Finance/money issues (not cheatings) are the main causes of marriage failures.
Aug 23, 2011 11:57
#2  
GUEST95142 mmmmmmmm,i think the situation is just like what u said,u should be accustomed to it,and u can say it's a different culture,ur wife asked u to give ur salary bank card to her becoz she is afraid u have careless with the money,and i think she must put you two's money in the bank for having a good life in the future,actually my dad also gave his salary bank card to my mum after they got married,it's ordinary in china
Aug 23, 2011 21:08
#3  
GUESTLILY Chinese culture and western culture are so different from each other.
Aug 23, 2011 21:18
#4  
GUEST2367
Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST95142 View Post

mmmmmmmm,i think the situation is just like what u said,u should be accustomed to it,and u can say it's a different culture,ur wife asked u to give ur salary bank card to her becoz she is afraid u have careless with the money,and i think she must put you two's money in the bank for having a good life in the future,actually my dad also gave his salary bank card to my mum after they got married,it's ordinary in china


Perhaps. But not all women keep their husband's bank card for another reason. They don't give their husband a chance to have mistress outside.

GUESTAMEDEO, I guess your wife is afraid that you might have other women outside. See, you are a European. Generally, forengers are much more humorous and romantic than Chinese boys. Today many Chinese girls dream of marrying a foreigner. She just want to ensure that you are not attracted to other Chinese girls.
Aug 23, 2011 21:38
#5  
GUEST08381 I'm Shane from Shanghai.My husband is from France.I control the purse strings too.I give my husband 3000rmb per month as 'pocket money'.He is happy with what I do because we made everything clear before we got married.
Aug 24, 2011 05:31
#6  
GUESTMOON IN... not all Chinese girls want to control the family finances but I believe 85% of Chinese girls prefer to do it : )
Aug 31, 2011 22:52
#7  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST08381

I'm Shane from Shanghai.My husband is from France.I control the purse strings too.I give my husband 3000rmb per month as 'pocket money'.He is happy with what I do because we made everything clear before we got married.


You made everything clear before you got married but this guy who posted this thread didn't. His wife was pretty smart. She didn't talk about it before marriage in case he refused to give in his cards.
May 14, 2017 09:24
#8  
GUEST34184 I am British and my girlfriend is Chinese. She has already brought up the subject and once we are married she will control all the money in the marriage. Until we are married I will asked her permission to spend money.
Aug 20, 2017 18:24
#9  
GUEST34222 I am engaged to a Chinese woman and this is normal to give your entire income to your wife. It is about being part of the family and putting the family's needs first. If you marry a Chinese woman you should be prepared to hand over your entire income and yes pension too. You may also notice she is very much the boss and you follow instructions.
Aug 20, 2017 20:00
#10  
GUEST34222 It is not uncommon for girlfriendsale to start controlling your spending when you are dating. If the man finds this uncomfortable he should remember after marriage he will only have pocket money given to him by his wife. Most women will carefully calculate what their husband will need.
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